Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Queen Bees

In our school days they were probably most prominent in the halls, the auditorium and on the playground. You didn't need to see them, all you had to do was to look for their drones swarming before and around her. I'm sure that nearly all of us have seen and known of them.
~ The Queen Bees always had the most friends, the best hand-picked friends she could find. She seldom carried her own books. In the cafeteria, she always had a willing drone retrieve her lunches. She always had the best seat and would be surrounded by her faithful minions. In later years, she was most likely a cheer leader or a majorette. This station, of course gave her the pick of the school's sports stars. She was probably voted most popular. She is typically the Prom Queen. With the quarterback of the football team they would be voted cutest couple. At your school, who won the lead role in the school play? As was the case at my school, it was the Queen Bee herself.
~ Who were the Queen Bees? Where do they come from? Just what is the origin of the species? Craig Hart, a professor of marriage, family, and human development at Brigham Young University, co-authored a study on the subject of Queen Bees. His findings suggest they are not made, but for the most part born into this role.
~ Little girls, as young as four years old, have displayed Queen Bee traits. To maintain their status, they tend to use fear and control to manage social cliques and their "hives." These girls are equally liked and disliked in their peer groups. They regularly include and exclude others in their fold, and threaten to withdraw friendship when they don't get their way. These pre-school Queen Bees are well liked and socially skilled, but also tend to be more arrogant and aggressive. They won't allow certain classmates into their play groups. This denial usually occurs when she perceives another as an equal or a threat to her throne. They then demand that those in her group not to play with that child. They themselves threaten to not play if their needs or demands are not satisfied. If for some reason one child angers her, for what ever reason, she simply refuses to talk to the child. They learn to become masters of gossip and revealing secrets when it is to their advantage.
~ What of her followers? Who were they, and how did they achieve their position? First of all, membership was not achieved. They were methodically hand-picked. Once admitted into that elite inner circle, there was no guarantee of permanence. A simple act of speaking to any child not deemed acceptable by the Queen Bee, could result in ouster from the club.
~ Professor Hart and his co-author, Robertson, plan to continue their research by following the lives of certain Queen Bees through their school years and beyond. They want to see how they evolve in elementary, junior and high schools. They are interested how they will fare in college. What about the day the enter the years of adulthood? What happens if they were to arrive on the scene where another Queen Bee is already established? Are the adult versions of Queen Bees at the work place and social gatherings former Queen Bees?
~ All I know is that after school I haven't much contact with adult Queen Bees. Maybe they grew up and out of that desire to control. But I swear, they sound an awful lot alike girl friends and wives! Perhaps, that is why there is so much friction when a man tries to be the King of his household! Did I marry a Queen Bee? God save the Queen!

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