Saturday, July 16, 2005

Lustrology




...............Miss Adventure's Lustrological Horoscopes July 15, 2005

Aries: Sex will take a different turn when your lover calls you "Mama" in bed, especially if you are male.

Taurus: Go buy some candles for some dim-lit loving; that you forgot to pay the electric bill doesn't matter.




Gemini: A sensationally sexy person will grope you in a club. Grab that hand, head for the coat check, and hail a cab.

Cancer: Try some puppy play this weekend. Don't let the neighbors see you peeing in their sandbox.

Leo: Whip out the handcuffs and "arrest" your mate. Just remember where you put the keys.

Virgo: Add some dairy to your diet. Lick whip cream off your lover's body.

Libra: Seduce the UPS person in the elevator. So what if other people are seeking the 4th floor? The more the merrier.

Scorpio: If you just broke off a relationship, celebrate some break-up sex. Then celebrate again with make-up sex.

Sagittarius: You and your lover will try body painting and come away with a new appreciation for art.

Capricorn:: It's fun to insert unusual things where they haven't been before. Just make certain 911 is on speed dial.

Aquarius: One is fun. Two is a coup. Three is nice. Try four. Stop at five because you aren't good at multi-tasking.

Pisces: You're going to have a surprise visit from an old lover. Hide the toys and get reacquainted.

Miss Adventure's Sex Tip #3 "Sucking toes is nice. Sucking clean toes is nicer."

The above "Lustrological Horoscopes" appeared in the July 15, 2005, Boston Phoenix. The Phoenix is a free "to-the-left" publication which depends heavily on personals and advertisements by the adult entertainment industry to operate. If you are unfamiliar with it and are interested, you can check out their web-site: http://bostonphoenix.com.

No.245

1 comment:

schnoodlepooh said...

Funny. I want LIBRA's horoscope.