If A Frog Had Wings...

He wouldn't bump his ass every time he jumped!

...And he wouldn't have any health insurance if Hillary were elected President. While a sore butt is an occupational hazard for our amphibian friend, medical provisions could become a luxury that he cannot afford.

An injured frog unable to receive proper benefits will find it difficult to obtain crutches should he bust his butt. Bubba, the First Gentleman has a palate for frog legs. With no health coverage, Mr. Frog will be unable to escape the Blue Plate Special.

Even Hoppity Hooper could find himself surrounded by some shady F.O.B. (Friends Of Bill). Things won't be the same back at the Lily Pad. Funding for Homeland Security might be available down by he pond under the current regime of King George II, but there will be guarantees if we were to wake up and find Hillary minding the National Piggy Bank.

The TOFU (Turtles, Otters and Frogs Union) are in the planning process of establishing a lobbyist group to seek the support of Congress and the House. Such dignitaries would include Tutor Turtle and Touche Turtle.

There is speculation that the Clintons have been exploring a profitable real estate deal involving wetlands where the turtles and frogs currently reside. Faced with not only the loss of a health plan, the denizens of the Nation's ponds and marshes are also concerned about the possibility of finding themselves homeless.

The members of Tofu are planning to hold a protest rally outside the President-wannabe's N.Y. penthouse next week. The Clinton clan will be hosting Party members with a lavish meal in an attempt to bribe - er swing support for her run at the Oval Office. The rally will be not against the agenda, but of the proposed menu. The protesting group was outraged when they learned that turtle soup and frogs legs would be served.

The Pachyderms and Jackasses are expected to make the topic of equal health care for all Americans a key issue. Another bone of contention between the two Parties will be Hillary's choice of a running mate.

While Martha Stewart is said to have rejected the offer, she has offered to handle the window treatments should she be elected. Stewart allegedly said that if her taste in decor was anything like her choice of men, the White House should not be decorated like an Arkansas out house. It is has been rumored that Hillary will choose Betty Boop as her Vice President. Her apparent, though not confirmed reason for this choice, would be to keep her husband in line. With his attention on the shapely new Veep, he would keep his nose out of the Country's business and affairs. When asked if she would be concerned just where else he might stick his nose, she implied that it would be acceptable as long as it wasn't poking into her drawers. The drawers of the President's desk would be off-limits to him.

We can only wait and see what will become of the frog, who adamantly does not wish Bubba's nose between his legs either.

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