Saturday, August 20, 2005


There have been no shadowy figures lurking in the alleyways. No addresses have been under surveillance. There has been no wire-tapping. No one's phone has been bugged. There have been no cars following other cars. There has been little chance that any actions could cause an international incident or affect national security.
....That doesn't mean that there hasn't been a veil of secrecy encompassing the last several weeks. The measures taken to maintain that secrecy, however, would be envied by both the CIA and the FBI. But it has been an unorthodox "overt covertness" that has been utilized most effectively. The results of all those efforts will come to fruition tomorrow, Sunday afternoon.
....It hasn't been easy. It's never easy to keep a shower secret from a bride-to-be. I'm sure many of you, especially mothers, can concur on that. Oh, our daughter knows something is up. She knows there will be a shower, but she just doesn't know when or where.
....In an incident that has become known as the "When Pigs Fly Affair," post no.224 in the July archives, my daughter learned that the Wedding Shower was in the planning stages. A disgruntled Maid of Honor, documented in The Honey-Doings series in June and July, soon became a discharged Maid of Dishonor.
....That's all behind us now. Except for a few last minute details, the shower goes off tomorrow at 2pm. Did I just say a few last minute details? "Few" is in the eye of the reader. But to the "few-detail-doers," a few can be a lot! Let's see, this afternoon while my wife is baking, making an English Trifle, and generally organizing everything that has to be done, I will be on the other side of town to pick up a finger-sandwich platter and salad at a deli-shop, picking up fresh strawberries from a produce store on another side of town, and finally getting to my barber shop to have my ears lowered on still another side of town. Now, those are the last minute details for today.
....Tomorrow morning will be reserved for the last of the few remaining details. I have to load seven boxes, each holding what will be placed on each of the seven tables, such as centerpieces, plastic-ware, cups, napkins, etc. Next, I have to pick up the food being supplied by a restaurant between 11:30-11:45am. Then I am charged with dropping off that stuff at the hall, which will not be available until noon. If all is well, members of the wedding party and others will be there to start setting up everything. I then have to drive a couple of towns over to pick up an order of balloons. I understand that there will be seven helium-filled balloons of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, each of which will be about 24 inches tall. I am concerned how I am going to accomplish this feat, because I have a small truck with a small cab. Driving might be difficult at best unless I can figure out how to keep them from drifting in my field of vision. I'll figure out something.
....I imagine that when I arrive back at the hall with the balloons, the place will be a beehive of active but frantic disorganized organization! The tensions and anguish hopefully will be abated by the time the 2pm deadline arrives. Everyone should be relaxed by the time the guests of honor get there. Hopefully.

Gretchen, my daughter, and Scott, her fiance', by the way think they are coming to a birthday party being held by her mother-in-law for her sister. Coincidently, there actually is a birthday party for the sister of the mother-in-law, who just happens to live next door to the hall. Of course, both of them think that we also have been invited to the party, and as such the presence of our vehicles will raise no flags. Are you following all of this?
....There is another interesting coincidence in that the names of the streets that we live on, the street where the hall is located, as well as the house of the aforementioned mother-in-law are the same - Preston Street. The only difference is that we live in a different city. Part of the ongoing subterfuge has been the use of Preston St. as a code word in conversations that Gretchen might hear.
....All of the seven boxes, as well as some gifts, have been "hidden" on the porch in trash bags. The stuff on the porch, when she asked about it, was explained as old clothing and articles that I would be taking to the Salvation Army and Goodwill locations in behalf of my clients. The free use of Preston Street in conversation and the trash bags are just a couple of the "overt covertness" activities we have been employing. Hidden, but yet right out in the open. Tomorrow at 2pm we will learn just how covert all of our openness has been.
....A posting of the celebration and how it went will be forthcoming.

(Gulp! I just had a terrible thought! Wouldn't it be just awful if my daughter decided to sit down and visit my site between now and tomorrow afternoon?)



mistyblue3 said...

Thanks for stopping by my site :) Good luck w/ the shower tomarrow. Hope it goes off w/o a hitch!


schnoodlepooh said...

What a bunch of stuff! Do you think she will be surprised? It sounds like you are doing it the "traditional" way, which means the family of the bride puts on the shower and wedding and it's very very expensive. It sounds like you are inviting lots of people, which will mean lots of gifts for the bride and groom, but lots of work and expense for you. Good luck tomorrow! and don't forget to have FUN!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Or what if she decided to save you a trip and took all the bags to the Salvation Army for you?

schnoodlepooh said...

Ol' Hoss is always thinking. What a jokester he is!

I just read the poem that you wrote on my new post. Very Very cute and I'm flattered that you would write a poem for the schnoodlepooh.

:-O' lick lick

kenju said...

I found you at Hoss' yesterday. You left WV about 8 years after I did.

Hope your shower goes off without a hitch!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I have reported on The Old Hoss Channel. Thanks for the discovery, which I stole.