Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot!
A closed mouth gathers no feet!
God bless the First $?%#!? Amendment!
Good morning is an Oxymoron!
I came. I saw. I Duct Taped.
Is it me or is this place a festival of idiots?
Sarcasm: Just one more service I offer.
Let's have lunch, I can't afford therapy.
I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory!
Beauty fades with time, but the mind eventually craps out too!
Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music?
Change is good ... You go first.
Some days, it's not even worth chewing through these restraints!
Et tu, Dufus?
Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
Shut up voices, or I'll poke you with a Q-Tip again!
A wise man washes his hands after he pees.
A wiser man doesn't pee on his hands!
Will someone PLEASE steal my identity?
I never get lost. People are always telling me where to go!
What am I, flypaper for freaks?
Have you seen my marbles?
Hear let's for dyslexia!
If you think no one cares, try missing a few payments!
No one knows the trouble I've been.
No, I'm not going to watch all the games; only the televised ones!
I'm not totally useless; I could be used as a BAD example!
I had a grip, but I lost it!
(Most of the above came from tee-shirt designs at this neat catalog site )