Thursday, September 01, 2005

What's Thong With That?


I am still filled with images of the Catalog Casanova and his "modeling" arrangements. (See "High-Rise Hi-Jinx," dated 8/31/05)

I am not feeling:

..(a) disgust
..(b) admiration
..(c) embarrassment
..(d) fits of laughter
..(e) horny and envious

The correct answer is (e). If anything, the episode has me feeling quite the opposite. (Do I look like that when I am ... ahem ... doing the dirty?) Remind me to scratch the idea of adding mirrors in a few strategic areas in our bedroom. Also, I have decided not to purchase an elephant thong.

I doubt that I'll ever look at the catalogs of Fredricks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret the same again. I'll stick to the department stores for now when I need some underwear.

Actually when recalling that evening, the image at the right seems to capture what I would have pictured those two looking like. If I had thought of the old boy being sexually active, the cartoon below might be more fitting. Funny, the man in the toon looks a little like him too.

Like I said in the aforementioned blog, God bless him at 85 years-old even having the ability, let alone remembering how to. I should check all of those prescriptions he has. Is there a Love Potion Number 9 bottle there?

While I am praising, God bless her too! Lest I forget, and may I never meet under similar circumstances, his other lady friends, God bless them too!

But you know, they are happy. They have no reason to answer to me or anyone else, for that matter. They certainly are not harming anyone.

We all should be so lucky to be that healthy when and if we make it to our eightieth birthdays and beyond. Hmm, I had better start taking my Vitamin E. Can you buy bags of M&Ms in one color, green for example? I think I should try to acquire a taste for oysters over the next few years.

Somehow, I can picture our hero as Clark Kent, mild-mannered and unassuming. But when his female octogenarians are in distress and need some "help," he changes into his secret identity of SeniorMan!

Yes, it's SeniorMan! Faster than Molasses. More powerful than prunejuice. Able to bend saltines in his bare hands.

I've seen him trying to weigh himself and I always wondered how he managed to see around his stomach. Well, now I know. He fights for truth, justice and the American weigh!

No.316

2 comments:

schnoodlepooh said...

You have to give the older folks a lot of credit. I admire them. I just wouldn't want to see them in their "compromised" position, such as you walked in on. I can do without the visuals.
I think your story (below) is hilarious. And I have to believe it because you are so affected by it. I think you're traumatized! So now your reaction is making it even funnier!! Yay for unexpected shocking sex!! woo hoo!!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Weigh to go, Pointmeister.