The Back Nine
An American business man was in Japan. He had some time before his golf session with prospective clients the next day. So he hired a local hooker. While they were going at it, the hooker suddenly cried out, "Fujifoo! Fujifoo!" The guy took it to be an exclamation of pleasure and increased his efforts.
The next day while he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts, got off a great shot. He had hit a hole in one. Wanting to impress them, he yelled, "Fujifoo!"
The Japanese businessmen looked confused and said, "No, you got the right hole."
That's The Way To Go
Upon hearing that her 97-year-old grandfather had passed away, a young woman went to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Obviously surprised, the woman told her grandmother that two people having sex when they are nearly 100 years old would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied Granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advancing age, we figured out the best time to do it was on Sunday mornings when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm - nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding, and out on the dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear and continued, "He'd still be alive today if that fuckin' ice cream truck hadn't come along!"