This just in: Kermit T. Frog's career shortened by rare mysterious ailment. The malady, known as Metacarpal Larynx Puppetosis, was caused by an over-zealous Proctologist. In a related story, Miss Piggy was hospitalized complaining of a chronic case of Frog-in-the-throat. The former stars of The Muppet Show insist that their relationship is strictly plutonic and professional.
In the business world, Coca Cola has come under fire for promoting oral sex with subliminal messages and images. Representatives of Coke are denying the charges. When shown the above photograph from a recent advertising campaign, a Vice President of Advertising said they would have to review it with their attorneys. The partners at Tripem, Stickem and Dickem had no comment until they have studied the charges and discussed the matter with their client. In traffic news around the city, commuters experienced delays of an hour or more because of an over turned vehicle at a major intersection. The driver of the Terrapin Enterprises vehicle claimed that the Snail Mail vehicle failed to come to a stop at the dangerous intersection. Police are investigating.
On the domestic scene, certain female Psychologists are becoming concerned about a growing number of young women who feel compelled to "baby" their boy friends and husbands. A spokesperson for American Psychology Enterprises, A.P.E., was quoted as saying, "We are seeing more and more women in relationships with former Mamas Boys who feel they must cater to the every need of the men in their lives."
The Council on Aging recently took a poll of elderly men 90 or more years old to determine what they attributed to their long and healthy lives. The survey took the mens answers and came up with the three most commen answers given.
Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft has unveiled a new version of Microsoft Word. The new version has been designed for those who are technically challenged, especially the blonde users who have long complained of the difficult manuals and cryptic instructions available with existing software.
In closing this installment of the Blog News In Review, our team of reporters visited Billy Ray Smythe on his farm near Houston, Texas. Mr. Smythe was reported in the Book of World Records are as having the world's largest cock. He was only too glad to show it to our camera crew.