Sunday, December 04, 2005

Ch-chingle Bells


Ch-Chingle Bells !
Ch-Chingle Bells !

Ch-Chingle all the way !

Oh what fun it is to
Use your master card all day !

The day after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday, the so-called first day of Christmas shopping. Like fly-fishermen, the retailers slyly cast their lines into the waters. Like hungry bass the shoppers took the bait - hook, line and sinker. The lure of discount prices soon found the stores' creels overflowing.

'Twas the day after Thanksgiving and all through the mall,
Not a pocket was full, for the shoppers had spent it all!
While I was at work, mama was spending the next check,
"I know we don't need it, but it's on sale, oh what the heck!

It was a full week later when I found what I thought would be a perfect gift. To my chagrin, back at home with my find, I am told that she had already bought the same thing on Black Friday. I sighed in dismay, resigned to the fact that I'd have to take it back. When I said that I thought $29.95 was a good deal, you should have heard the "WTF" that was screamed at me. It seems that the "big sale" after Thanksgiving wasn't so big after all. She had paid $59.95 for the same item at the same store! She had saved $10 off on the item. I had saved $30 more! Guess who had to take her "steal" back, and who kept his "grand larceny?"

From out in the driveway there arose such a clatter,
I mosied from my chair to see what was the matter.
To my wondering eyes it wasn't dear ol' St. Nick
Who was backing out of the driveway so quick!

When is a sale NOT a sale? When it is just a come on to lure shoppers into the stores, that's when! I am not saying that every store pulled off this scam, but it does give me reason to "compare shop." In case you haven't guessed already, the store in question is the one and the only Wal-Mart! I can't help but think that next week this item will be on sale at $19.95.

Dashing through the store, o'er the l'il old ladies we go
Shoved them outta the way, coz they were much too slow.
Bells on registers ring, making our pockets light
Oh what fun it is to use our charge cards tonight.
Ch-Chingle Bells! Ch-chingle Bells!
Ch-Chingle all the way.
Oh what fun it would be to
Ride in a one-horse Soap and Sleigh.

Just what in the heck is a Soap and Sleigh, anyway?

No.451

7 comments:

Theresa said...

Um, one horse open sleigh. Just sayin'. ;)

The retailers are slick. Some of the sales are great deals. Some of the sales are not. This shopper never uses credit at the holidays. I hand the husband a wad of cash, the sale paper with the item circled, and let him have the headache.

Ivy the Goober said...

soap and sleigh! oh you crack me up. I vow to sing it that way for the rest of my life now :)

Miss Cellania said...

One of my favoriote trivia questions has always been "What is the name of the horse in Jingle Bells?"

I suppose you would guess "Soap".

schnoodlepooh said...

I've heard many stories that Wal Mart is a sucky store. I've never been in one. And for the record, I HATE shopping. I'm doing ALL of mine online.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

A Soap and Sleigh is a very clean Pervertible.

Nice poeticizing, Meister.

jules said...

I THOUGHT I saw you singing with the two year olds last week. Yep, I was right.

jipzeecab said...

Actually, I always thought that was what it said..