Friday, December 16, 2005

Gifts That Keep On Giving

You'll know that great scarf and hat you bought him wasn't such a great gift ... When you see it on the snowman in their front yard.

You'll know he didn't like that necktie you bought ... When you see it is being used to tie back the rose bush.

You'll know that sweater you knitted didn't fit ... When you see it on their dog.

You'll know that all that fruit cake wasn't eaten ... When it is being used to hold down the tarp on the boat.

You'll know that fancy multi-colored vase never held flowers ... When you notice their new sidewalk with embedded multi-colored glass.

You'll know you aren't going to see her in that sheer negligee ... When you find pieces of it in the rag bag under the kitchen sink.

You'll know that the new toaster oven wasn't a very good gift ... When you come and find a thawing pack of frozen Salisbury steak sitting in front of it along with a picture of a $250 jacket.

When we put the shoe on the other foot, what about those gifts that you receive that didn't exactly enthrall you? What about those gifts from the heart that come closer to home, such as those from your significant other? Fortunately such gift giving usually ends in a draw. Both of you bought one of them for the other. All is not lost. While you laugh at the boxer shorts with Marmaduke on them, she is laughing at the rainbow knee highs with the toes.

In this day and age of ecological concerns, you take the only reasonable course of action - recycling, otherwise known as re-gifting! Having expertise in this field, you are fully aware of the tasteful and tasteless rules of re-gifting.

  1. Never re-gift to anyone who travels in the same social circles as you. This is especially true if you participate in a Secret Santa Club.
  2. Never re-gift to anyone in your extended family, and of course never to immediate family.
  3. Remove the original wrapping and rewrap the gift in different paper, ribbons and bows.
  4. Does this really have to be stressed? Don't use the same tags and labels! That's a definite give a way.
  5. Be careful about the box. If gift came from K-Mart, don't put it in a Tiffany's box!

Then of course there is always eBay. Why not make a buck or two? If you don't think Goodwill would want it, don't feel guilty about trashing it.

A show of hands is all that is required while you ponder these riveting questions?

Who out there has received as a gift ... a Chia Pet?

Who has received a ... Clapper?

A Buttoneer?

A nose hair trimmer?

A Thigh Master?

A singing lobster, the singing bass or the singing mallard?

A CD of Zamfir, the master of the pan flute?

If you have received any or all of these as a Christmas gift, please allow me to enlighten you. You have been Re-Gifted!!

And if you have read someone else's blog that has this same theme, my friends you have been Re-Blogged!



Nankin said...

That includes the Sponge Bob XXXL silk shorts. Although they did make a great albino pachyderm gift.

kenju said...

Thanks to the powers that be - I never recieved any of those things!

Webmiztris said...

the weird gift that I keep receiving are food choppers (Cuisinart, Black and Decker, etc.). I've gotten three in the past few years as gifts! The funny thing is that I've had a food chopper for years already and never use the damn thing, so the 3 in boxes are just collecting dust!!

jules said...

Yeah, the clap...oh wait, you said the clapper...never mind. ;)

Ivy the Goober said...

I have always wanted a chia pet. I've asked for one every year for as long as I can remember and no one EVER gets me one. :(

Shann said...

It's a good thing my mother-in-law never sees my 6 yr old niece... because I'm giving my niece the Betty Boop dvd that my mother-in-law sent to me. How old does she think I am??

Cheri said...

Michael--You have been tagged!! Check out my site...can't wait to see what you do with this!! LOL

Yes, the old Chia--I jsut said to the hubby "if you want to tell someone you don't care about them at all and don't want to give them a thought--send them a chia!"

Carolyn said...

I GAVE a nose hair clipper once, lol! I HAVE regifted those Beef Sticks from hickey farms. I'd get 'em as gifts from work just before Christmas, then pass them on to someone else at Christmas. Hey, those things will kill ya, ya know :D

Miss Cellania said...

Our office party is potluck, and we exchange gifts that are all obviously regifted. We don't know who's going to draw the gift we bring, so we don't have to put any thought into it. There are ALWAYS chia pets, silk boxers, and whatever tackiness is popular that year.

aka_monty said...

Lucky for me I'm easy to please, and always delighted with whatever is in the package.

People know better than to give me any sort of cookwear. ;)

I have never received any of those things on the list, but here's hopin'. :D

Now I'm SO getting Ivy a chia pet.