Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Twelve Hours of Decorating

On the first hour of decorating, I put up an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the second hour of decorating, I put up two wreaths for the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the third hour of decorating, I untangled three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the fourth hour of decorating, I brought out four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the fifth hour of decorating, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the sixth hour of decorating, I hung six strands of galrland, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the seventh hour of decorating, I hung seven packets of tinsel, six strands of garland, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the eighth hour of decorating, I had an eight-ounce steak for dinner, hung seven packets of tinsel, six strands of garland, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the ninth hour of decorating, I drank my ninth can of beer, had an eight-ounce steak for dinner, hung seven packets of tinsel, six strands of garland, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the tenth hour of decorating, my team pushed a ten-point spread, had my ninth can of beer, an eight-ounce steak for dinner, hung seven packets of tinsel, six strands of garland, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....On the eleventh hour of decorating, my true love handed me eleven sets of lights for outside, my team pushed a ten-point spread, had my ninth can of beer, an eight-ounce steak for dinner, hung seven packets of tinsel, six strands of garland, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.
....And on the twelth hour of decorating, I fell asleep for twelve hours, was handed eleven sets of lights for outside, my team pushed a ten-point spread, had my ninth can of beer, an eight-ounce steak for dinner, hung seven packets of tinsel, six strands of garland, my team scored five field goals, brought down four boxes of ornaments, three strings of lights, put up two wreaths on the doors, and an artificial Christmas tree.

When I awoke refreshed, I was grateful that there wasn't a thirteenth verse! I'll bet you are too!




No.459

7 comments:

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I would never have gotten to the steak because I would still be moaning about not covering the spread. Damn Eagles....

Tenderheart said...

I can always count on you for a good laugh. Great pic too!! :)

Windfall Woman said...

I LOVE THIS!!!!! I needed this smile this evening.

aka_monty said...

You're far too ambitious.

I haven't even put up my tiny little foot-high tabletop tree yet.

Dangit.

kenju said...

No decor here at all! Love that cartoon.

jules said...

Had there been a thirteenth verse, I would have had to break out the "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" CD just to silence the screaming voices in my head.

schnoodlepooh said...

Very cute rendition. You're a busy little elf. You are certainly in the christmas spirit.