Tuesday, January 03, 2006
One of my wife's Christmas gifts this year was the book , Maxine, Yelling It Like It Is, by the creator of the cartoon, John Wagner.
The cartoon at the left was harvested somewhere on the web, but I forget where.
I am probably over-stepping the boundaries of copywright infringement, but the following are a few of the Maxine-isms from that book. Indeed, the title of this posting was the name of one of the chapters.
I can't use a cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.
A three-course breakfast - coffee, cream and sugar.
There's a reason kitchen rhymes with bitchin'.
Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.
Know what tastes great on a veggie burger? Lettuce, tomato and beef.
I make it my policy to never take work home with me ... Unless office supplies count.
I like to do things around the house ... Sit around it ... Walk around it ... Lie around it.
My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship.
My soul's had enough chicken soup. It wants some chocolate.
Wouldn't you pay just about anything for a telemarketer's home phone number?
Everything looks so tiny when you're flying, especially the food they stick in front of you.
I can't decide which piece of exercise equipment to buy and never use.
I do my housework in the nude. It gives me incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Just make a crude gesture.
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 10:40 PM