Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Home Is Where The Heartburn Is

One of my wife's Christmas gifts this year was the book , Maxine, Yelling It Like It Is, by the creator of the cartoon, John Wagner.

The cartoon at the left was harvested somewhere on the web, but I forget where.

I am probably over-stepping the boundaries of copywright infringement, but the following are a few of the Maxine-isms from that book. Indeed, the title of this posting was the name of one of the chapters.

I can't use a cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.

My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.

A three-course breakfast - coffee, cream and sugar.

There's a reason kitchen rhymes with bitchin'.

Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.

Know what tastes great on a veggie burger? Lettuce, tomato and beef.

I make it my policy to never take work home with me ... Unless office supplies count.

I like to do things around the house ... Sit around it ... Walk around it ... Lie around it.

My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship.

My soul's had enough chicken soup. It wants some chocolate.

Wouldn't you pay just about anything for a telemarketer's home phone number?

Everything looks so tiny when you're flying, especially the food they stick in front of you.

I can't decide which piece of exercise equipment to buy and never use.

I do my housework in the nude. It gives me incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Just make a crude gesture.



Peter said...

OK I,m a convert, now tell me are you Mike or Michael, might as well start out right.

Tenderheart said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tenderheart said...

Sounds like an interesting book. I think Maxine and I have a lot in common. :)

StringMan said...

Hey, those a good. How is that we didn't think of those, Mike?