Friday, March 10, 2006

Who's That Knocking At My Door?

(If you did not read yesterday's post, this is part 2. You should first read "Behind Closed Doors.")

You decided to walk away from the door. You didn't want to be caught eavesdropping. Curiosity, however, gets the better of you. You creep on tip toe back to that door. You hear ...

Female: Straighten it out for me, honey. The cut is way down at the base.
Male: Ah! That feels so good. That's magic you work with your mouth.
Female: Now, do you still want to put it in here ?
Male: I guess not. I''ll just have to stick it somewhere else.
Female: Oh, no! Not there!
Male: Well, where would you like me to put it?
Female: You could always just hold it.
Male: Yeah, right! Everyone will ask me "Where's my balls?"
Female: Tell them they are where they belong - in a bag.
Male: I think I'll call Bill and ask if I can stick in Mary's.
Female: Maybe he'll let you put in his.
Male: I don't know. He has a big one too.
Female: I know. I see it almost everyday.
Male: Okay. It's getting late. Zip up that suitcase. Watch it, don't catch your finger in the zipper too.
Female: ...And what about that thing?
Male: I'll have to put my glove in my carry-on bag.
Female: Honestly, I don't know how you ballplayers go on the road and not know how to pack a suitcase!

You walk away from that door shaking your head. Then you remember the other door! You place your ear to the door and listen in on more of that conversation:

Female: Okay. Okay. I won't shave my pussy over the sink any more.
Male: Why were you shaving it in the first place?
Female: I thought you'd like it better that way.
Male: You know I don't like that smelly thing!
Female: My pussy doesn't stink! How dare you!
Male: It smells like tuna everytime it's near my face!
Female: It can't be that bad. You used to play with it all the time.
Male: It wasn't so big then.
Female: My pussy isn't that big!
Male: The next time you want to shave it, go to a professional.
Female: Well, whatever. I'm a mess, you squirted it all over me. My face .. My hair .. My blouse. I need a shower.
Male: Why don't you give your pussy a good scrubbing while you're in there?

You are getting excited. This conversation is HOT!

Male: I guess I'll clean up the mess and put away all my tools and roll up the hose.
Female: Honey, thank you for unclogging the drain.
Male: Yeah, yeah. And thank you for helping me.
Female: Honey, do you really think I should scrub my pussy in the shower?
Male: No, of course not. The damned thing should be clean. It gets licked enough.
Female: Have you seen it recently?
Male: It's waiting for DICK.
Female: He won't be home from school for another hour.
Male: At least when he's home, I don't have to look at your pussy. And he gets to play with it.
Female: Pussy loves Dick. It's a shame my pussy doesn't like Peter.
Male: You know, I was just thinking how this conversation sounds if someone were listening in.
Female: What do you mean? Why would they listen to us talking about our son and my pussy cat?

You are stunned. Why indeed! You for one, are not interested in pussy, Dick or Peter.



Fuckkit said...

*looks shocked*

Hale! I thought you were a gentleman! ;)

Maritza said...

This reminds me of the time when my parents were in their bedroom and all us kids (teenagers!) overheard this:
Mom: Put it in from behind!
Pop: I can't keep it up!
Mom: Let me get on top and then you can slide it in..

Well, we were on the floor laughing our perverted little heads off. See, they were putting together a bedframe and we heard what we wanted to hear! Mom and Dad come out to see what the commotion was all about, we explained and I don't think we got to see sunlight for the rest of the year we were so grounded!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"Gimme that old-time religion...."

Peter said...

Hey Mickey whats pussy got against Peter??