Saturday, March 11, 2006

When Doodles Diddle

Disney World Dalliance
Who slipped the Spanish Fly in the punch bowl?
Disney officials found themselves with egg on their face this week. A company sponsored emloyee picnic inexplicably turned into a bawdy orgy. The bachanalia was reportedly the result of Spanish Fly that had been placed into a bowl of fruit punch. An investigation is underway to uncover the culprit responsible for the tainted punch.
....Jiminy Cricket told one reporter, "I don't think it was the punch at all. Somebody must have wished upon a star."
Tinker Bell was observed in a state of euphoria. Sitting on Pinnochio's face, she was heard screaming, "Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie"... She was later seen flying in circles naked around the the Magic Kingdom spreading her magical Fairy Dust upon the tourists.
....All through the park there were scenes of debauchery. Snow White could be seen buried under a mass of seven naked dwarfs. The prince wasn't interested if only the glass slippers would fit Cinderella. Thumper was splitting hares. Alice found out that the White Rabbit was in a hurry with everything he did. Goofy finally got to show Minnie that he wasn't. Peter Pan and Wendy played house for real. Tigger gave Winnie the Pooh the pounce of his life. Tramp showed Lady just who was a tramp. Hewie, Dewie and Louie ruffled Daisy's feathers. Pluto introduced Mickey to golden showers.
....Characters from other studios who had been invited to the picnic, were also affected by the spiked punch. Several witnesses claimed that Frankenstein even dug up a date for himself. The two skunks, Flower and Pepe LePew were both stinkers on a park bench.
Ernie, the Keebler Elf, was seen leading two young ladies to his tree bungalow where there was soon to be a lot of shakin' and bakin' going on in there.

Without Olive Oyl around to make him toe the line, Popeye showed everyone that it wasn't just his arms and legs with that shape. Sure enough, he proved to be very strong until the finish!
....The nudity and sex acts were everywhere one looked. Blondie and Dagwood were seen swapping partners with Marge and Homer Simpson.
Even the Police Officers sent to the scene got into the act. One very busty female cop proved to be very arresting. In fact there was a long line of men "turning" themselves in at her paddy wagon.
....Margaret found out why Dennis Mitchell was nicknamed "the Menace." Wiley Coyote finally caught up to the Roadrunner and he skewered his prey. That day there was a wedding at the famous Theme Park. Apparently, the bride and groom to be had stopped by for a taste of the punch. They exchanged vows and consummated their marriage at the altar. There was also considerable interaction among the guests.
When the effects of the combination of the Spanish Fly and Tinkerbell's Magic Fairy dust finally wore off, the unwitting participants of the orgy spent several minutes trying to cover themselves while they scoured the grounds looking for their clothing.
Said one tourist, "This is truely one Magical Kingdom." Another guest of the park, a little old spinster who had been torpedoed by Popeye, was said to be muttering for a week afterwards, "He doesn't write. He doesn't call. He doesn't visit ..." The busty police woman said she'd never drink punch again because it made every orifice of her body too sore.
So remember, if you have plans to visit Disney World, unless you are particularly horny that day - do not, I repeat, do not drink the punch!


Nick Zegarac said...

Very hilarious post. It just occurred to 'me' that Walt's lasting legacy to the child in all of us has really gone down hill since the old mogul's demise. Walt was a visionary. Eisner - merely a bean counter...and not a very concise one at that. But you've certainly given new meaning to "the happiest place on earth" - oh yeah!

Nankin said...

Thanks! I needed that.