Thursday, May 04, 2006

Dr. Strangebush

What do you call someone who seems to be hell-bent on blowing up something?
(a) a terrorist
(b) war monger
(c) f/x tech
(d) redneck President
If our illustrious Commander-in-Chief, George W. Bush tried to duplicate Slim Pickens' feat from that wonderful movie "Dr. Strangelove," it would be our dumb luck that the bomb would be a dud!
What is his agenda anyway? Is he trying to finish what they wouldn't let Daddy do during Desert Storm? Did he also make the mistake of reading George Sr.'s lips? Is he trying to protect America's oil interests, or is he trying to save the Bush family's fortune made in oil?
....Does he still believe that there are WMDs over there? Was Iran his target all along?
....Is a goal to annex Iraq to make it the 51st state of the Union? If so, will it be renamed Exxonia? Does he use Iran and Iraq in the same sentence, as in: "If I ran Iraq...?"
....Has he already inked a deal for the movie rights? From the bottoms of what barrels did he scrape Cheney, Rice, and Rumsfeld? Does he know his approval rating is down to 30% now? We want to know, how come it's so high?
What author will be hired to write his memoirs and the obligatory biography? For that matter, who could he get to write his autobiography?
....Will he be graduated from Hooked On Phonics in time to learn how to pronounce "nuclear" before he leaves the Oval Office for good? As a final act as President, he will give his list of pardons, but who's going to pardon him?
....When will he learn that Condoleeza is her name and not where she lives?
....When it comes to the leg irons legacy of George W. Bush, there will be so many questions and oh so few answers.
....All the miserable remaining days of his life, he will be asking just one burning question:
"Where's my war?"
Meanwhile, I think I'll brush up on my Pig Latin so that I can wish him well when he steps down! I think it has a rather nice ring to it, don't you?


Peter said...

Sheesh, I don't know whether I should be first to comment on a subject so close to the hearts of the American public, so I'll just go and learn that pig latin.

Rebecca said...

hahaha, awesome post. ;)

I have mixed feelings about our current situation in the Middle East. Far too mixed to address in your blog. ;)

Although I DO despise Moussauoi and would love to see him not in prison. But clearly, a jury of "my peers" feels differently.

Sid said...

Hahhaha.. I found your post hilarious !
If I may , I would like to email this post to a couple of friends who would enjoy reading this. Or better yet, I will send a link to this post.

Karen said...

reatga ostpa ikema! {ringa}