Thursday, June 01, 2006

Keeping Cool

It isn't always cool to be cool!

Summer is here, with all its sights and blights. You won't have to look far to experience visual pollution. The layers are coming off. The hems are rising. The necklines are dropping. Stomachs are turning. 'Tis the season of cleavages and butt cracks. Some things you see are somethings you don't want to see.

Say no to crack!

Wouldn't it be nice if burlap was in? You can't help but wonder if some of these people have mirrors in their homes. I mean, don't they check themselves out before modeling their faux pas fashions in front of an unsuspecting world?

Celebrities are one thing, at least most have nice bodies, even if they are artificially maintained. Even in those Japanese anime cartoons, the women have great bods!

If speedos aren't bad enough, now there are sheer ones? Let's face it, ladies, do you really want to see men walking around looking like that the beach? Of course not. You'd turn your heads away in disgust. What's next Wet BVDS night? Is nothing sacred anymore?

Now, this is more like it. Rednecks know how to keep cool and be cool at the same time. You gotta love redneck ingenuity.
....Redneck word of the day: Herbarium - What she do if her husband croaks.

Speaking of cool. I thought I'd try to catch up with the times. I decided to break down and get myself one of those palm devices.
....After reviewing a myriad of features and functions on several of these things, I finally settled on one that best fits my needs and lifestyle.
....The one I chose doesn't have Bluetooth technology. It doesn't have a name that sounds like it was picked from a vine. It doesn't download music. I cannot take pictures with it. I cannot play games on it.
....All it can do is solve simple mathematic calculations. They told me in Radio Shack that it was a calculator.
....I call it a "Pseudopod."



Megan said...

They may have mirrors; they just may not see what we see.

There are days when I wish I was that deluded.

Lori said...

Wait a minute.....Wait just a minute....hmmmmm.....Do we really want to see that walking on a beach??.....In some cases YESSSSSS....LOL

Have a great day!!!

jules said...

I think I may have been in that first picture.

poopie said...

Rednecks will take a dip wherever they get the chance. I'm just sayin', y'all.

Peter said...

Hells bells Mike, ya gotta slow down, I was only away for a week and it's taken me an hour to sift through your posts that I missed.
I blushed a little on contageous, but otherwise good stuff.