Friday, June 09, 2006
Ten Thoughts to Ponder during 2006
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but, we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Here's an excellent way to display your favorite art and pictures of your idols.
....Don't like someone? Display their likeness on a roll of toilet paper! Wipe your tush and tell him to kiss your ass at he same time.
....Be creative: try to make a brown moustache or goatee on the face; or leave a yellow tint and make him looked jaundiced.
....It is not recommended to hang the finished pictures on your walls.
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 12:07 AM