Sunday, June 11, 2006

Trailer Park Dictionary


I's done went and found more stuff 'bout trailer parks and the people what lives in 'em than you could possibly want to know.
....But first you need to know the dialect a bit to help you un'erstand a bit better. So I pulled out a few entries from from "Bubba's Dikshunary of Trailer Trash and Redneck Speech." (These are my original entries and were not lifted.)
------------------------------------------------------
Air Conditioner - Innovative device using 10 lb bag of ice positioned behind oscillating fan.
Alpha-Bits - Game pieces for Scrabble that can also be eaten.
Art Exhibition - Showing off a new tattoo.
Baker's dozen - A loaf and bread and two six-packs of Pabst.
Bath Tub - Place to store motorcycle parts.
Cherry Bomb - Best fishing bait.
City Dump - Bargain outlet
City Hall - Biggest trailer for miles around
Corn Cob - Substitute for toilet paper
Cuisine - There is no Redneck or Trailer Park translation
Curtains - Material hung in windows when not used as bed linens
Desperate Houswives - Female neighbors
Duct Tape - Contents of a toolbox
Entertainment Center - Versatile shelving system comprised of pine boards and cinder blocks
Exercise Bike - Optional use for coat rack
Fall-a-Particle Board - What happens to particle board roofing when it gets wet
Fireworks - A fart lighting contest
Foreplay - Porn film and a Pabst
Gourmet Food - Denny's or Waffle House
Hair Style - Mullet
Lawn Furniture - Former living room sofa and chairs moved outside to make room for big-screen TV set.
Lighter Fluid - Substance used for removal of grease and oil, insect repellent, starting barbecue
Liquid Assets - Number of beers on ice
Must-see TV -
Jerry Springer
NASCAR - The predominant religion of trailer parks
Napkin - Any cloth material when it is too hot to wear long sleeves
PDA - A Gameboy
Security System -
A long chain attached to a Rottweiler
X-Files - Canceled checks of alimony payments to former wives
The following came from a dedicated Trailer Park Site, http://www.askuncleralph.com - He calls himself the Dear Abby For Trailer Ttrash. The list of eatin' places was provided by his brother. It is a funny site and you'd do yourself wrong not making a visit there.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Best Eat'in Around the Trailer Park
Hungry? Try one of these fine establishments.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Uncle Bubba's International House of Sushi ( and bait )
Joe Earl's Gourmet Diner
Griddle 'n Grits
Cousin Purvis - King of the Corn Dog's Emporium
The Hefty Heifer - Our cows and waitresses are corn fed.
SH@@TERS - Waitresses in pink tube tops and flip flops.
Buck's Biker Bar - We'll kick yo monkey monkey ass!!!!
The Broasted Ocra Diner
The Hound & Coon - Dozens Served!!!!
Auntie Mom's Flapjacks
Rocky's Mountain Oyster Big Boy

So the next time you come to visit your relatives, we highly encourage to savor our local flavor and culinary delights. You'll go away and never forget your visit, we can promise that. Please don't forget to tip your waitresses. Y'all come back now, reckon!!!!!
No.656

7 comments:

kenju said...

Broasted okra! Surely you jest - at least I hope so! I do like it breaded and fried.

aka_monty said...

Dude, you've GOT to stop posting pictures of me. It's getting a little embarrassing.

:)

Hale McKay said...

I'm sure you're talking about the second picture, Monty.

blue said...

lol point, you forgot one:
business card = belt buckle

good post point!

TMelendez said...

lol..
..this is good and funny..
You are sooo wrong.. but then again, I cant find another case of rain and flood in the Boston area for the last 100 years (or West Va for that matter) .. so I know it wasnt the fall!!

T

StringMan said...

Well, I've now got the vocabulary to make it in a trailer park. I is home free, baby! Great post, Mike.

I loved sushi = bait.

jules said...

I'm gonna have to post these wurds on that there trayler door a mine.
Dang it Mike, now I gotsta lurn new vocabyoulary