Thursday, June 22, 2006
(The following appeared in a recent Readers Digest.)
Where are you?
Insurance Hotline analyzed accidents and traffic tickets of 100,000 drivers by astrological sign. From the top down, the worst to best:
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
~~Traits: Indecisive; craves consensus; flirtatious
~~~Car Karma: Lacks ability to make the snap decisions necessary to avoid a crash.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
~~Traits: Stubborn; rebellious; unconventional
~~~Car Karma: Ignores the rules of the road, especially the speed limits.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
~~Traits: Risk-taker; impulsive; childlike
~~~Car Karma: Wants to race you off the line when the light turns green.
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
~~Traits: Daydreamer; theatrical; vulnerable
~~~Car Karma: Doesn't pay attention; prone to road rage and fishtailing.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
~~Traits: Vengeful; possessive; strong-willed
~~~Car Karma: MIght chase you if you cut in front of them in "their" lane.
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
~~Traits: Cautious; deliberate; stubborn
~~~Car Karma: Has an urge to charge at red lights; fails to yield.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
~~Traits: Talkative; independent; traveler
~~~Car Karma: Argues with police; extreme driving; talking on cell phone at the wheel.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
~~Traits: Goal-oriented; designing; traditional
~~~Car Karma: So focused on the destination they ignore speed limits and traffic signs along the way.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
~~Traits: Analytical; skeptical; timid
~~~Car Karma: Focuses on minor details (the squirrel) - instead of the big picture (the speed trap)
Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
~~Traits: Moody; nurturing; family-oriented
~~~Car Karma: Considers other drivers an "extended family"; maneuvers car quickly.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)
~~Traits: Alert; adaptable; curious
~~~Car Karma: Need for mental stimulation helps them spot changing traffic patterns.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
~~Traits: Generous; egotistical; optimistic
~~~Car Karma: Strives to be a "star" driver and be respected for it.
See Rat Fink up there? That's me, and I'm an Aquarius. Unconventional?
....So what kind of Zodiac Driver are you?
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 12:05 AM