Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I don't generally review anything in my posts. I don't read that much anymore. I don't go to the movies anymore. (I do rent DVDs occasionally.) There is not a single TV program that I watch on a regular basis. (Except for sports.) I know nothing about the music industry after 1985. In a word, I am in little or no position to review anything other than Blogs.
....However, tonight I'm throwing caution to the wind. I'm going to throw it against the wall and see if it sticks. That's enough with the cliches! As the picture of Plastic Man might suggest, I have been a fan of super heroes since I was a youngster. While I no longer read comic books, many of those tights-clad super heroes are icons of my youth.
....It was only out of curiousity, that I paid attention to a new TV program which began airing recently. "Who Wants To Be A Super Hero?" is currently on Thursday nights at 9pm EST on the SciFi Channel. Stan Lee of Marvel Comics is the host. The program is another one of those so-called reality shows. (As if we really needed another one.)
....If you like simple-minded fare, if you like seeing people make complete fools of themselves, or if you are easily entertained, then this program is for you. I didn't know this program was in the works, otherwise I could've auditioned for it as Captain Eclectic. (This may take about a minute to download on some browsers.)
Following is the cast of would-be super heroes which includes their powers and weaknesses. (Clicking here will provide a link to these heroes, clicking on each individual's picture will give you additional vital statistics.)
Lemuria - She shoots laser beams and fireballs. levitates; drains energy from people, animals amd plants; hurls orbs of solar energy. Vulnerability: Darkness and the night.
Feedback - He absorbs powers and abilities from video games that he plays; generates a feedback field that disrupts electronics within 15 feet; computer genius. Vulnerability: Power lines give him headaches; microwaves give him him nausea.
Fat Momma - She can grow to 5 times her normal size when she gets angry. Vulnerability: Needs doughnuts to fuel her powers; diet foods weaken her and shrink her to 5 inches tall.
The Iron Enforcer - Densest bone structure of any human; mind-blowing "death punch"; wields an arsenal of high-tech weapons. Vulnerability: 5-year life span; he's a living time bomb; fears flying.
Monkey Woman - She has high-tech weapons and gadgets disguised as bananas. Vulnerability: Weakened by the sound of music boxes and calliope organs.
Major Victory - He can levitate and is never knocked down; super strength; can jump 375 feet straight up; can go 25 minutes without air; super acute vision; can manipulate sound waves to create noises or throw his voice. Vulnerability: Deaf in left ear; Lactose intolerant.
Cellphone Girl - She can teleport from one active cell phone to another; eyes can take digital photos; can download any information available on a computer (i.e., learn japanese on the fly); use cell phone waves to move physical objects; fires beams from her cell phone. Vulnerability: Areas with no cell phone service (i.e., valleys, tunnels); must recharge daily.
Ty'Veculus - He has super strength; superspeed; fire resistant; always detects lies because he can only hear the truth. Vulnerability: If he acts against his integrity, his powers falter. He must beware of beauty, because it blinds him to evil.
Creature - She can heal others with fruit and raw foods; shoots fire-beams; wileds a magical bullwhip; throws knives with unerring precision. Vulnerability: Losing her hair saps her strength; is a sucker for gumballs.
Two others, Levity and Nitro G have already been eliminated from the competition.
This review, such as it is, is not intended to tout the program, but to stress the folly of the programming that is being forced upon the viewers. This program is so silly and stupid that it's actually funny. It pains me to say this, but it is better than most programs of this ilk!
Enough of those "super heroes." The real purpose of this post is to praise a real Super Heroine. (This may take about a minute to download on some browsers.)
Yes, Monty is the real super hero. She performed 24 hours of blogging on a recent 24-hour Blogathon and raised over over $1000 for Cerebral Palsy. Pay her a visit and give her a big cyber hug and pat on the back for a job well done. We love ya, Monty!
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 12:12 AM