The Erroneous Zone

His plan to annex Iraq as the 52nd state was all but assured. The Bush Oil Corp. would become the world leader in fossil fuel production. He would become the most famous Bush since the time of Moses. His brother would succeed him to the Oval Throne.

....He would retire with his new advisors, Elmer Fudd and Barbara Walters, chosen because only they can understand a word he says. He would live in comfort on the strength of his legacy.

....Suddenly, it all fell apart. Nov. 7, 2006, became his Waterloo. In only two years, he had reduced the once proud G.O.P. to shambles. With his Ship Of State listing heavily, his own party had begun to denounce him. Those who stood by him had paid dearly for their sanctimonious loyalty.

....He had lost control of both Congress and the Senate. He had lost what little credibility even an editorial cartoonist could give him. Americans were revisiting the questions they'd asked since he'd first been elected.

....Then there were the 9/11 attacks! Patriotism and revenge were contagious. Americans thought that even a bumbling fool would do the right thing. They were wrong. So it was that America, led by Dubya, embarked on the most expensive scavenger hunt ever. He promised that no stone or camel pie would be unturned until the WMD were found.
....Even a lesser man with scruples would've admitted they were wrong. However, Dubya had never been accused of having scruples. He was proud of that, stating that he had no need of any Russian money. Then he said that he'd been misunderstood and misquoted. He said that he was never looking for 'Weapons of Mass Destruction.' He had committed our troops to locate something more sinister. He was after "Wooden Matchstick Dolls!"

Thus the battle lines were extended to the political arena. In the end, the 'Donkeys' stood victorious over the beleagured 'Pachyderms.'

His dreams unrealized, this Bush will indeed be compared to another famous bush, that of Monica Lewinsky.

Yes, a chunky little Jewish girl who brought a President to shame will be remembered and admired far longer than a President who brought shame to a country and his Party.

Let him retire to obscurity in 2008 to his Texas ranch. Maybe that's where the WMD lay hidden, in that shadowy place known as "The Erroneous Zone."

In the meantime, give the little lady a cigar!

No.798