(Or: Twas the night after Thanksgiving....)
And all through the White House
The only one stirring was the turkey,
Trying to be as quiet as a mouse
As he sat there eating beef jerky.
In his Underoos and Laura in the sack
Into the kitchen G. Dubya had snuck;
When outside there was a loud whack,
He dropped a drumstick, what the f**k?
He flew like the wind into the bedroom,
Dove into bed and hid under the sheets;
"Damned Democrats," he said in gloom.
"I'm in trouble they have too many seats."
Said Laura, "Get those cold feet off of my back,
That a drumstick, or are you glad to see me?
You should've listened and stayed out of Iraq.
Yes,it's a drumstick coz you don't have a WMD!"
There was a noise coming from the kitchen,
So he got up and went there to investigate.
He pulled up his drawers to stop her bitchin'
And he wondered who'd be out there so late?
All the dirty dishes had been stacked without care
In hopes that someone would soon be washin' them.
And who did his beady little eyes see standing there,
But the biggest game hunter in all of Washington?
He was feeding his fat face with the culinary stash,
Ere the fridge, he hummed a song by Bonnie & Delanie.
The big jowls and fat ass, G. Dubya knew in a flash
That it could only be Dick, his Vice President Cheney.
He belched and he farted and he hummed out of tune,
His tongue darted and cleaned his lips with one lick.
Dubya knew they might run out of food sometime soon;
He whistled and said his name, "Pass me the drumstick!"
And so they feasted upon leftovers well into the night;
He heard him exclaim before the ice cream could melt,
"Why don't we nuke a Democrat and show 'em our might?
They won't get rid of me, like they did ol' Rumsfeld!"
And he heard him exclaim as he waddled out of sight,
Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night."