Thursday, January 04, 2007

It's Reality Television, Really

(What TV program is suggested by the cartoon at the right?)*

George and Laura had been married long enough that their lives now centered around the TV schedule. To the couple the word climax was only used in reference to the scene of a TV show before the last commercial break.
....As anal retentive as they were to their Bible, the TV Guide, it was little wonder that nothing perplexed them more than the word "preempted." A state of confused helplessness would come over them whenever they would hear the chilling words, "We interrupt this program with an important breaking news story. "

..Laura: "What are you watching, George?"
George: "Friday Night Lights."
..Laura: "Friday Night Lights? But it's Wednesday!"
George: "They moved it to Wednesday nights."
..Laura: "Hey! That's the same episode that was on last Friday."
George: "Yeah, it's a rerun."
..Laura: "So what's on Friday now?"
George: "The schedule says TBA."
..Laura: "Again? Everytime we sit down to watch TBA, something else is on."
George: (Blank expression.) "I think Harvard graduates are in charge of scheduling, honey."
..Laura: "What do we usually watch on Wednesdays?"
George: "That adoption program, Wednesday's Child. It was rescheduled for Thursday."
..Laura: "What else is on?"
George: "Saturday Night Live. "
..Laura: "On a Wednesday?"
George: "It's a rerun of the classic show."
..Laura: "Then why isn't it on on Saturday?"
George: "Because they are showing that Tuesday Weld retrospective that night."
..Laura: "You'd think they'd air that on Tuesday."
George: "True, but they're showing a movie, Born on the Fourth of July on Tuesday."
..Laura: "In January? I thought that old Shirley Temple movie was supposed be on then."
George: " You mean Captain January ? They moved that to August."
..Laura: "What's on tomorrow night?"
George: " Monday Night Football. "
..Laura: (A blank deer-in-headlights look on her face.)
George: "...Thursday Night Edition. "

TV SET: "We interrupt this program with an important announcement..."

George: "Damn. He was about to attempt the game winning field goal!"

TV SET: "There will be another interruption in this program to report a breaking story ...after the following commercial break from our sponsors."

..Laura: "George, we saw him miss it Friday."
George: "Yeah, but this time he has a TV time-out to think about it."
..Laura: (Same deer - same headlights.)

TV SET: "We interrupt this interruption to announce that our panel of experts have cancelled their discussion of what they believe the President will cover in his up-coming State-of-the-Union speech. It appears they have no clue.
....We now resume the progam you were watching .. in progress."

..Laura: "Just what state of the Union are you going to talk about in your speech, George? Ohio?"
..George: (Different deer .. same headlights.)

*(Prison Break, of course.)


1 comment:

Peter said...

Different deer .. same headlights.
I know just how those deer feel after trying to work out the programs on TV, are they ever gonna screen TBA d'ya think?