Tuesday, January 09, 2007

When Rhinos Fly

We interrupt that intriguing story with some light-hearted fare...

....It will give the few who have been riveted to their screens a day to absorb the suspensful drama that has been unfolding upon their screens.
....Also, it will give the author a chance to absorb what he has written so far. While the readers are wondering where the tale is heading, the author is wondering the same thing.
....Besides, he needed a "little" bit of sustenance. A simple burger was on tonight's menu.

So, when is the story going to be completed, you might ask? Why...when rhinos fly, of course!
....According to The Animal Planet, the scheduled take-off for the resumption of the story will be tomorrow, 1/10/07.

Screwy Thoughts

You don't have to be a politician to know that our country must stop all the wasteful Federal spending.
--However, we can't lay-off members of the Congress! Can we?

The other night as I was aimlessly clicking the remote and ultimately running the gamut of 250 channels, I sat back and pondered:

--"If I had a nickle for every hour I've spent watching that mindless TV set ..
...I'd have enough money to buy one of those HD Plasma sets!"

When it comes to sex, why is "doggie style" so popular?

I guess it all comes down to the pursuit of the Big-O, doesn't it?
Did you know there are many forms of orgasms?


Sex while cleaning the house - chore-gasms.
Sex in a boat - oar-gasms.
Sex with a nerd - dork-gasms.
Sex at the house entrance - door-gasms.
Sex on carpet or linoleum - floor-gasms.
Sex at the supermarket - store-gasms.
Sex at a Steven King Movie - horror-gasms.
Sex with a prostitute - whore-gasms.
Sex with an accountant - bore-gasms.
Sex while sleeping - snore-gasms.
Sex with 4WD drivers - four-on-the-floorgasms.
Sex with a salesmen - door-to-doorgasms.
Sex with a virgin - my-hymen-got-torgasms.
Premature ejaculators have - beforegasms.
Sex with 'Arthur' - Dudley Moore-gasms.
Sex with cartoon donkeys - Eeyore-gasms.
Sex while broke - poor-gasms.
Sex with a lion - roar-gasms.
Sex for hours and hours on end - sore-gasms.
Sex on a golf course - fore-gasms.
Sex with a nymphomaniac - more-gasms.
Sex in a gold mine - ore-gasms.
Sex with a dermatologist - pore-gasms.
Sex with a politician - Al Gore-gasms.
Sex with Chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers - s'more-gasms.
Sex with a bullfighter - toreador-gasms.
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword - zorro-gasms.
Sex on the beach - shore-gasms.
Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet - smorgasbord-gasms.
Sex on a cruise ship deck - shuffleboard-gasms.
Sex in Asia - Singapore-gasms.
Sex among the wonders of nature - outdoor-gasms.
Sex in the vicinity of a garbage can - odor-gasms.
Sex on the way to the train - 'All Aboard'-gasms.
Sex that wasn't very satisfying - 'There's the door'-gasms.
Sex in an adult theater - hard-core-gasms.
Sex with someone who's not paying attention - ignore-gasms.
Sex with a competitive partner - score-gasms.
Sex while flying - soar-gasms.
Sex with a beloved partner - adore-gasms.
Sex with a meat-eater - carnivore-gasms.
Sex with a person who's got a really bad hairdo - pompadour-gasms.
Sex with someone who's got bad taste in clothes - velour-gasms.
Sex while travelling - tour-gasms.
Sex with a big dog - Labrador-gasms.
Sex with Beavis and Butthead - 'GonnaScore'-gasms.
Sex on stairs at the mall - escalator-gasms.
Sex with three of your friends - four-gasms.
Sex with a Norse God - Thor-gasms.
Sex when resistance is futile - Borg-gasms.



Raggedy said...

That's alot of gasms..Wow!
Who could possibly eat that burger?
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

kenju said...

.....with someone who's not paying attention? Never experienced that, myself....LOL

lime said...

i have been using the term 'smoregasms' for years to describe the gooey perfection of the toasted marshmallow and melty chocolate i make. hehehehe

and the idea of al gore-gasms.....that's just firghtening.

Chelle said...

Wow....why do I suddenly feel very excited after reading all those gasms?? lol

Peter said...

And now for something completely different.

Scary Monster said...

Sorry Me friend Roar-gasms are when one be satisfied by the Scary Monster.
Sex at the center of the Earth Core-gasms
sex with a woman still wearing the Playtex 18 hour bra- contour-gasms
Sex witha city gal on the farm Gabor-gasms (could also be while fighting a cop)Eva or zya zya Takes your pick

Love the burger right off Dagwood Bumstead's plate.


Miss Cellania said...

Its a schmorgasboardgasm!

Jack K. said...

Between this posting and yesterday's, I am plumb tuckered out.

I wonder, would sex at this time be a tuckered - gasm?

jules said...

Dang, I want me some moregasms!!!

Serena Joy said...

I can see I have a lot of catching up to do. Some of those 'gasms, I've never even heard of. LOL.