Wednesday, February 14, 2007

From The Heart

Check out the Valentine I received from our dog.

....(I think she got the neighbor's dog Chester to write the card. Her name is Ginger and she can spell better than this.)

....I can only surmise the flea collar I gave her was a poor choice of gifts.

She seems to get along with the dog next door, at least through the fence that separates them. I'll bet she would have rather been allowed to go over the next yard and pay him a visit than to have been given a flea collar.
....Do you suppose it true what they say? The scent is always better on the other side of the fence ?
Valentine's Day is for lovers, or so Hallmark and candy makers would have us believe. Does that mean we should fight and be indifferent to one another the rest of the year?
....Of course not. The day is just another contrived high-water mark on the corporate measuring stick used to impress share holders. We are fortunate, are we not, that they haven't attempted to unveil the Twelve Days of Valentines on unsuspecting lovers?

This post is going to go (Or is it already there?) where few other blogs will venture. This Valentine's Day post is dedicated not to bipedal lovers, but to the animals. Animals have rights and needs too!

What say you and I get together and monkey around? I thought this animated picture of an intimate moment between two chimps was cute enough to post here and at the top of my sidebar. (It also gives me an opportunity to slip in a subtle innuendo.)
~~Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Know what I mean, know what I mean ?~~

Don't let the name of the site fool you, but I found the following four cartoons at Perry Bible Fellowship. There are some very talented cartoonists contributing to a huge archive of cartoons, many dedicated to the animal world.

As the above cartoons expressed, you have to agree that animals do in fact have their wants and needs. Are they really so different than you and I?

So don't make the same mistake as me and buy the dog a flea collar as a Valentine's gift. I should have bought her that new dog toy that just hit the store shelves.
What dog wouldn't want to break up the monotony of being home alone all day with an exciting game of Cat Bowling ? (I wasn't about to tell her that the flea collar only set me back $3.95.)

Cat owners take heart. There are practical gifts for the felines too.
Why not take your purring, all-day sleeping, fur ball coughing pussy cat to one of those new specialty franchises, like Dunkin' Dognuts ?
....It'll be your cats' wildest dreams come true! (Rover, on the other hand however, might not be impressed.)

Who knows, maybe if your pet really appreciates your wonderful Valentine's Day gifts they just might reciprocate.
....Just what gifts could cats and dogs give their owners you might ask? Who knows, but what's stopping your poodle or Labrador from dropping a few dollars on their masters? Maybe your Persian or tabby will dip into the tuna fund and spring for a gift to show their appreciation.
Those cats and dogs who live together and compete for their owners' affections could pool their moneys to give a most memorable gift. What pet owners, especially those of baby-boomer and older ages, would not be absolutely thrilled with an all-expenses paid trip to the romantic Viagra Falls ?

So don't forget your pets on Valentine's Day. If Hallmark and all those candy companies can profit on the 14th, why shouldn't Ralston Purina or Iams? You wouldn't want to see a pet bunny all forlorn, would you?
You'll never know when the dog might let you use the bed with that certain special person.

I'm off to the pet store. I have to exchange a flea collar for her favorite treat, doggie cookies shaped like mailmen! While I'm at it, I'd better pick up something for the cats too.
....Two can play at their game. I'll treat them right, because tomorrow is payback -my birthday!
....The same applies to Blogging, doesn't it? I had better get to reading some if I want them to read my posts.

Have a wonderful lover's holiday everyone. May you and yours find only love on this special day from your loved ones and from your pets.



Jack K. said...

Happy Valentines day to you and yours.

Serena Joy said...

Oooo, what a fun post! I probably won't utter the phrase "jungle sex" in the same context again. LOL.

Happy Valentine's Day, Mike.

sudiegirl said...

Uh - the four cartoon strips in a row were from a Bible fellowship group?

Damn - what's their affiliation, anyway?

Interesting post - I think my cats forgot Valentine's Day, so maybe I'll forget about changing their litter.

Rain said...

Happy Valentines Day!

Great post, thanks for the giggles

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh so hard I always take a piss before I visit here...just in case ya know.

Izzy said...

Happy Valentines day kiddo!

Peter said...

Happy Birthday Mike, it's already the 15th down here. so it'll be all over before it begins so to speak.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Did you see the "Animal sex zoo tours" being touted on MSN today?
Ugh- lol...
I'll have to see if my local Zoo has such a thing :)

Hope you had a good day today- and thanks for the visit at MV-
I promise that sometimes I do post something serious...
but not too often :)

Have a great week~

Hale McKay said...

Mayden, I'm afraid I can't make such a promise about posting something serious - even sometimes!

Anonymous said...

Happy Valentine's Day belatedly and HAPPY BIRTHDAY you handsome, witty, clever guy!

Cinderella said...

LOL, I see the truth in this post!! "I am going to control you with this for the rest of your life" LMAO!!!

Happy Valentines Day and a BIGGER HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!