Thursday, March 08, 2007

PC Police Beat

If you are a lover of a good cup of coffee, then you should read Raggedy's post of 3/8/07 to find out if you drink too much coffee.

What better opening for a post about police, but one on coffee? However, this has nothing to do with the conventional men in blue who serve and protect our communities.

No, this post is a "tribute" to that other police force, those do-gooders of no good - those self-serving morons of morality - those vipers of vice - those bastions of bullshit - the Politically Correctness Police. It is ironic that the real men of law enforcement would be called pigs, for it is the PC Police who are truly swine.

Thanks to these pseudo-protectors of our Constitutional rights, we now have little or no rights. Thanks to these misguided souls, our kids cannot say prayer in school or recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Thanks to these heretical heroes, our kids cannot be punished at school, or even at home!
They attend school dressed in clothing that would have resulted in them being sent home a mere thirty or forty years ago. Having no respect for their own appearance, it is only natural that they would have no respect for others.

So I say to the collective members of the PC Police force, how have your efforts worked out? Are you proud of your actions and the subsequent results? Pat yourself on the back for every student who has shown up at school bearing guns. Take a bow for their promiscuous lifestyles.

I shudder to think how far the long arm of PC Police will reach. What's next?

A coffee shop cited for selling its brew by the cup. (A cup is suggestive of a bra and therefore a reference to the female breast.)

When making numerical lists, numbers one and two cannot be used because of their obvious reference to bodily functions. All numbered lists will henceforth began with three.

All churches called "The Church of the Immaculate Conception," which suggests copulation, will have to change their names.

A florist is arrested for warning clients about thorns on roses because they might get "pricked."

A bird-watcher is led away in handcuffs for reporting the sighting of a "titmouse."

A dog "breeder" is arrested on two violations. He is charged with using lewd and inappropriate language in an advertisement selling "bitches."

Far fetched, you say? Sure it is, but who knows where it will stop? When will the courts finally wake up and throw these cases out as a waste of time and resources? I daresay that some of these PC Police have even infiltrated the bench. Consider the following imaginary, but plausible scenario:

The local constabulary of the PC Police have egg on their faces when they were accused of hypocritical actions following a raid on a Board Meeting of a large corporation.

Attending the board meeting under cover, PC officers issued warrants for the arrest of several board members, including the Chairman. The arrest was predicated on the fact that they had laid their agendas on the table in full view of two women members of the board.

In a surprising turn of events before the scheduled hearing, the lawyers for the accused filed a counter-suit claiming that the PC Police were guilty of hypocritical practices and were not practicing what they preached. The team of barristers cited two instances where the officers violated the spirit of their powers and responsibilities.

By their own admission, the PC Cops had been working under cover, suggestive of sexual activities. Lastly, the officers had declared the raid a bust, another word for a female breast. The prosecutor objected but was overruled by the judge. The lawyers claimed those violations were just the tip of the iceberg, to which the prosecutor objected again because "tip" could be construed as the head of a penis. The judge sustained his objection.

The lawyers then said the DA was getting too cocksure, which riled the judge and in the end he declared a mistrial and threw the case out. This will not be the end of the matter, there is sure to be an appeal to higher court.

There you have it! So watch what you say, when you say it and whom you say it. So ladies if you were to walk up to me and say "F--k you," you'd better mean it and do it. You never know, I might accuse you of using suggestive language.

It's reached the point that as for me, it is politically incorrect to be politically correct !



jules said...

I'd never walk up and say "Fuck you." I might however walk up and say "Fuck me!"

Serena Joy said...

I already know I drink too much coffee. That could be why I can't freakin' sleep. Duh.

That pig is too cute! And reminds me so much of someone (several someones) I know.

I like the way you knocked PC on its ass. I have no patience for PC myself. Too many people have no common sense any more. No flippin' sense of humor, either.

Christina said...

good post. how about "fuck PC"?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

This is not going to work. When I refer to taking a "No. 3" or a "No. 4," then those words also are outlawed. Same with "5" and "6". I don't think I'm ever going to get to take a dump.

Hale McKay said...

Hoss, only you would find a loop hole in the plan.

Raggedy said...

I am overwhelmed here.
Thanks for the link!
Great PC Police post!
I wonder where it will all end.

wazza said...

Gidday Mike,

Ah, the PC police. Don't you love them, the S.O.B's. I heard of a case in a bakery where they sold ginger breadmen biscuits. They had to change it to ginger breadperson biscuits.
What a load of shit. I say throw them all in the harbour with cement boots.