Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Stress Quiz

(I didn't get much sleep last night. I dreamt I was a car muffler. I woke up and now I'm exhausted!)

Good luck with this stress test !!

STRESS

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture. The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins.

The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing. Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.


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(thanks, Earl)


Ancient Chinese Tortures

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.

As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

No.917

6 comments:

Jack K. said...

Just when I thought I needed a long, extended vacation, I read about the Chinese torture. Any extended vacation will NOT be to China.

Besides, my wife would never let me sleep with a comely young Chines nymph.

snerx.

there may be one or two puns in this, but I am not too sure.

Serena Joy said...

Oh, goody -- a primer in new torture methods. LOL. Very funny, Mike.

Marti said...

OMG - too funny! Thanks for the laughs!

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Miss Cellania said...

That hurts. And I don't even have testicles!

wazza said...

Mike, you had balls to post this joke.

Peter said...

Hi Mike, hope the emphasis isn't on the... HAD... balls to post this!!!!