Have a Happy (nor)Easter

If you live in New England, may I offer some advice for Easter Sunday?

It seems that Mother Nature and Old Man Winter aren't on the same page and neither one of them paid attention to Phil the groundhog! So until the paternity suit is settled, Little Miss Spring hasn't been allowed to come out to play.

Lest you want the kiddies to be disappointed on Easter, here are some guidelines to make their Easter an enjoyable one.

1) Wear fur-lined Easter bonnets

2) Be sure the Easter Eggs are colored, white ones are hard to find in 12 inches of snow

3) Avoid using yellow dye on the eggs, they might run in the snow - the inexperienced kids will only look for the yellow snow

4) Consider attaching a GPS homing device on each egg - give the kids a fighting chance to find them

5) Give every kid a snow shovel and tell them the eggs are hidden in the driveway - you might as well save money on the snow plowing bill

6) Depending on the size of your driveway, add more sugar to their cocoa - they'll need that extra energy

There are some precautions you should take:

1) If drinking and driving look out for deer on the road

2) Dress the kids in bright orange while they are hunting Easter eggs - otherwise they might be mistaken for game

3) Housewives in Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont be sure to wear your red flannel shirts, you wouldn't want a hunter from Massachusetts mistake you for a moose

Following these tips and observing the precautions should insure that you have a Happy Easter if you live in New England.

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