Saturday, April 07, 2007

The Picture Diet *

Famous TV Star Discovers the PICTURE DIET

Here's what glamorous Victoria Principal former star of Dallas says about THE PICTURE DIET

"I'm one of those people who can eat like a horse and not gain weight, and I'm always in great shape, so this diet doesn't apply to me, but some of my friends used it and I think they lost weight. "

Here's how the PICTURE DIET works:
We'll send you a big, lavishly illustrated picture book of your favorite foods and recipes - beautifully cooked and photographed - enough dishes to last you for months.

All you do is eat the pictures instead of real food. Yes. that's right - you eat pictures of food. The pictures are printed with a special nutritional food supplement processed right into the nontoxic colors and inks - they're completely edible!

You can eat pictures of pancakes and omelets, lobster Newberg, duck a l'orange, juicy steaks and french fries, caviar and hundreds of other gourmet dishes and rich desserts. You'll feel like you're eating the real thing!

It's easy...once you get the hang of chewing paper. And pictures of food have only a fractions of the calories of real food ...

Billy use to weigh 343 pounds. Today he weighs only 126 pounds and he changed his sex too!
(pictures: Billy with a real burger before using the PICTURE DIET, and Billie after using the diet plan and having the operation)

Says Billie: "I hated myself as a 343-pond man. I wanted to lose weight and be like the girl in the before-after pictures. I never dreamed I could do both with the ...
PICTURE DIET OPTIONAL SEX-CHANGE KIT."


After losing tons of weight with the PICTURE DIET you may want a sex-change too, like Billy. You can now do it easily and comfortably in your own home with our kit. All instructions and equipment are included.

You know the beautiful Catherine Zeta-Jones. But did you know that her beauty and great figure are a product of the PICTURE DIET? It's true. Compare her looks today with how she used to look:

What are you waiting for? Call 1-903-FAT-GONE ($5 US for each minute) to receive your free FAQ package and order form, or visit us at our website: www.PICTURE-DIET.com/fat-be-gone and order on-line.

Current prices: PICTURE DIET book for one year - $19.95; six-month book - $18.95; three-month book - $16.95; Optional Sex-Change Kit - $399.95

Don't wait until it's too late and you die of obesity. Start your PICTURE DIET today!

*(This was borrowed from the parody publication, Not Quite TV Guide, 1983. I supplied the pictures and edited some of the original script in places.)

No.947

5 comments:

Christina said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

BTW, good 'Good Friday' post, too. Peter Rabbit? WTF?

aka_Monty said...

I would please like to order two super-size picture books.
With desserts.
Thank you.

:D

Peter said...

Let me know if you need Australian representation Mike, sounds like a goer. does the optional sex change kit go both ways and come with all the parts needed? I'm just askin'.

Raggedy said...

I'll have what Monty's having.
Great post.
Hugs

SoulSearcher said...

Ha Ha, very funny...If Only!!