Friday, May 18, 2007

The Morning Commute



This morning on the 401,


I looked over to my


left and there was a


WOMAN !!

in a like new


Classic Chevy


doing 65 mph


with her face up next


to her rear
view mirror


putting on her eyeliner.


I looked away


for a couple seconds


and when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,


still working on that makeup.



As a man,


I don't scare easily.


But she scared me so much;


I dropped


my electric shaver,

which knocked the donut


out of my other hand.


In all

the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car

using my knees against


the steering wheel,


it knocked


my cell phone


away from my ear


which fell


into the coffee


between my legs,


splashed,

and burned

Big Jim and the Twins,


ruined the damn phone,


soaked my pants,


and disconnected an


important call.

Damn women drivers!!


(I received the above in an e-mail from my daughter. Thanks, Gretchen.)

No.989

3 comments:

Miss Cellania said...

Exactly so. Haha!

jules said...

I Gretchen blind? Cuz you sure have that big enough!

Scary Monster said...

It would be funny iffin it weren't so damnned close to the truth.

Ummmm, Big Jim and the twins???

LOL-STOMP