The Morning Commute

This morning on the 401,

I looked over to my

left and there was a

WOMAN !!

in a like new

Classic Chevy

doing 65 mph

with her face up next

to her rear

view mirror

putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

for a couple seconds

and when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,

still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;

I dropped

my electric shaver,

which knocked the donut

out of my other hand.

In all

the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car

using my knees against

the steering wheel,

it knocked

my cell phone

away from my ear

which fell

into the coffee

between my legs,

splashed,

and burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

ruined the damn phone,

soaked my pants,

and disconnected an

important call.

Damn women drivers!!

(I received the above in an e-mail from my daughter. Thanks, Gretchen.)

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