If It Isn't In the Dictionary - It's a Word!

SNIGLETS*

Words that should be in the dictionary but aren't:

New Word

Definition

1. AQUADEXTROUS
(ak wa deks' trus) adj.

Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION
(kar' pur pet u a shun) n.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT
(dis kon fekt') v.

To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS
(el bon' iks) n.

The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST
(frust) n.

The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION
(lak' toe man gyu lay' shun) n.

Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER
(pehp ee ay') n.

The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA
(fo nee' zhuh) n.

The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS
(pup' kus) n.

The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION
(tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.

The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

My submissions added to the original list of 10:

My New Words

My Definitions

11.CELLOPHANCY
(sell' uh fan see) n.

The vain attempts of a male to see through a woman's clothing.

12. CELLULINGUS
(sell u' lin gus) n.

The feeling of embarrassment when you discover you have just answered your vibrator in public.

13. CLOCKOMA
(klok oh' ma) n.

Inability to read a clock across the room.

14. EGGRIVATION
(eg ra vay' shun) n.

Dissatisfaction when the yolks of your eggs are cooked when your order was for over easy.

15. PEPSINACTION
(pep see nak' shun) n.

Inability to stifle a belch when drinking carbonated cola.

16. SPANDECTOMY
(span dek' tuh me) n.

The often painful operation of removing Spandex articles of clothing.

17. STUPLICITY
(stew plis' a tee) adj.

Descriptive of the actions of those who appeared in "Jackass, The Movie."

18. SUPURSULOUS
(sue pur' sue lus) adj.

Describing any lady's handbag that is large enough to hold those objects she doesn't need.

19. TORNOGRAPHY
(tor nog' ra fee) n.

Removal of the centerfold from a Playboy magazine belonging to someone else.

20. WASTERIA
(way steer e uh) n.

The laughter at your expense when you exit a public restroom trailing toilet paper from either your pants or stuck to your shoe.

A tip of the hat to Peter for these gems:

Peter's New Words

Peter's Definitions

21. FATTITUDE
(fat uh tood') adj.

Positive attitude displayed by an overweight person to their body.

22. FRENEMY
(frin' uh me) n.

A friend who is displaying hostility.

23. OSTEOPORNOSIS
(aws tee oh pour' no sis) n.

A degenerate's disease.

* - The term Sniglets was coined by comedian Rich Hall on the (1983-1990) HBO program Not Necessarily the News.

No.1040