I Won't Cry Over Spilt O.J.

Isn't it ironic that a man who got away with a double murder could ultimately be put away for the theft of "his own" property?

Gone are the days he ran wild on the gridiron. Gone are the days he ran through airport terminals for Hertz. Gone are the days of the low-speed highway chases.

Gone are the days on the golf courses across the country looking for his wife's killer. Gone are the days of teeing off on a par 5 hole with a dog leg to the left while scanning the horizon for any sign of the murderers. Gone are the lonely vigils in the clubhouse at hole nineteen.


....Unless he receives a Presidential pardon.


WASHINGTON (IWR News Parody)

— Late Friday afternoon, President Bush announced that O. J. Simpson would be replacing David Kay as head of the Iraq Survey Group.
"I am confident that my pal O. J. can find the real weapons of mass destruction," said Mr. Bush.

It warms my heart and restores my faith in our Commander-in-Chief that he is never going to give his search. Dubya will assist O.J. in finding the elusive killers and O.J. will help locate the enigmatic Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Perhaps their respective searches will take them to the ends of the earth.

Then and only then will O.J. be able to enjoy the fruits of his book. Who knows his novel may join the long-awaited publication by Michael Jackson and the posthumous tell-all of Sadam Hussein as Oprah Winfrey recommendations.

Then at long last we can kick back and wait for the jury selection process for the case against against Michael Vick!
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