Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Curses! Oiled Again!

I had an interesting discussion today about world economics. The guy was an expert in the field. He was the gas station attendant!

"Fill 'er up!" I said to him.

"Regular? Or really expensive stuff?" he cheerfully asked.

Funny I thought, but the ever-changing numbers on the face of the pump reminded me of the spinning wheels on a one-armed bandit at a casino. There was a big difference though, these numbers weren't stopping! Any jackpots would go the house, or in this case the gas station.

"Whoa!" I shouted to the attendant. "Stop the pump!"

"You say 'fill 'er up' didn't you?" the attendant protested as he removed the nozzle.

"Yeah," I replied, "$3.17 a gallon? Now it's my wallet that's running on empty! A half a tank will have to do for now."

"That'll be $34.00," he announced a little too cheerfully.

I handed him two twenties and as he leafed through the wad of dead presidents the size of a complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica's for my $6 change, I said to him, "Are they still trying to recoup their losses from that Exxon-Valdez incident?"

"Valdez?" he responded with a confused look in his countenance. "We don't buy gasoline from the Mexicans!"

I started the engine and said to him, "If the gas keeps skyrocketing, pretty soon you gas pumpers are going to lonely like that Maytag repairman in those old commercials."

As I pulled away I heard him shout, "Since when Maytag sell gasoline?"

Like I said above, the guy was an expert in the field of world economics!

When I approached the house I saw that our home-heating oil man was parked across the driveway. (Groan!) With the price of oil hitting $113 a barrel today, I could only shudder at how much this oil delivery was going to cost us.

He handed me the ticket and I was hesitant to look at it. I didn't want the oil man to see a grown man reduced to tears. I think I would have popped him one if he'd said something like: "I love the smell of number two oil in the morning."

Instead he was actually apologetic. "Sorry about the price per gallon. I can't help it. Excuse the pun, but those damned A-rab (rhymes with Ahab) camel jockeys have us over a barrel!"

As he drove away I glanced at the delivery ticket. $517.93? For a half a tank?

In one of his monologues a while back, Jay Leno was joking about the price of gasoline. I am going to paraphrase his words and edit it a bit:
Last weekend how many of you went to the beach to observe the erosion and the polluted shorelines? How many of you went up into the mountains to look at the tree stumps left behind by the loggers?

Maybe you spent the weekend doing what my family did. We piled into the family car, sat in the driveway and pretended we could actually afford gas to go somewhere.

The cartoon at the right isn't far off base. I actually received a couple pre-paid gift cards for gasoline for Christmas and for my birthday.

I suspect I may see another for Father's Day.

Now, a gift card for a tank of home-heating oil - that would be quite the gift! Alas, that's a pipe dream, for I don't know any generous millionaires!

This Blogger's postings can do little to solve the rising price of oil and the domino effect it is having on the world economy.

Another problem facing the world is the alleged global warming threat to the planet. This problem is one that maybe I can address with the cartoon to the left, but it is doubtful my post will help resolve the problem.

Some claim that cattle flatulence contributes to the green house gases being released into our atmosphere. That may be so, but it isn't the only contributing factor.



Skunkfeathers said...

I'm waiting for the first email scammer to send me something akin to "my late husband left me $10 million in oil reserves; for helping me help myself to your wallet, I will give you 40% of the total...".

That one might have some legs...

Hale McKay said...


You mean you haven't had one of those yet?

Serena Joy said...

You've summed up the oil racket beautifully -- and made me laugh to boot.:)

Jack K. said...

I just got back from a one day trip to Andover, KS. It's about 180 miles one way. Drove down yesterday. Filled up the Del Sol before I left. Almost 8.5 gallons of 91 Octane. $30. Filled up in Andover - about 7 gallons $23.50. Filled up upon the return - 5.5 gallons $19.15.

On the trip down there was one hell of a headwind. MPG 25.8. Coming back today the wind was not quite as strong as yesterday. MPG 33.97. Not bad for cruising 75 MPH. And, it was warm enough to use the AC today.

Did I ever mention, I just love my little, red sporty car?

It was a work trip and I probably won't make much over expenses. But I do love the work.