Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Unkindest Cuts of All

Good For What Ails you?

Today was a day that I attempted to make my lawn the greener gas on the other side of the fence! "Attempted" is the operative work to describe my efforts however.

After four weeks of not being able to give my yard its first attention for the year, I got my chance today. Last weekend was reserved to celebrate Mother's Day and our anniversary. The previous three weekends were reserved for another Mother, namely Mother Nature, in which she decided to let loose with heavy rains and cold temps.

As it turns out, I would have had better luck if I owned one of these "high-tech" mowers. I would have gotten some exercise for the legs too.

Instead, there was more exercise devoted to my shoulders and my back. It was only after I had cut back the shrubs and trimmed the hedges did I learn that I could've used the aforementioned mower. The lawn mower wouldn't start! It was turning over but it would not run! Pulling repeatedly on the starting lanyard resulted in the unwanted exercise [sic] to my back and shoulders.

In the end, I had to resort to using a weed-whacker on the whole yard front and back. Without my lawn mower, which also mulches when it is running, I had to rake all the trimmings of grass and cuttings from the shrubs and hedges.

By the time my work was completed, the original two hours I had planned for the chore had become a total of five hours!

They used to say that if you read it in the newspaper, it had to be true. (The Sun, The Globe, and The National Enquirer are newspapers, aren't they?) By that reckoning, the suggested use of WD-40 should have the obvious choice for me to use as topical treatment for my aching back and shoulders.

That part about it being true if it was in the papers - that might have been true once upon a time. I left the WD-40 on the work bench. Ben-Gay doesn't belong on my bench and WD-40 won't be found in my medicine cabinet in the near future.

If someone wants to try WD-40's medicinal qualities, let me know how it works. If I read it a blog, will that make it true?

No.1354

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You have to ask yourself which smells worse, WD-40 or Ben-Gay? It's probably a tie.