Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Googling For Giggles

In addition to the "Poodle Doodles" comic strip (see the two previous posts) I was drawing, I also dabbled a little with a strip based on an office setting. In an upwardly mobile environment, Herbie was a downwardly inert office worker who never quite got things right at work or socially.

For example, there was the time he tried to improve company working conditions:

WORK STUDY

After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male's recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

The New Office Secretary

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!"

Sex Schedule

A young couple was married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon, but when the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule.

So every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15. In the door at 5, in the sack at 5:15. This went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot.

The shot killed all the germs inside her except for three, and these three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans.

One germ said, "I'm going to hide between two toes on her left foot, I don't think the antibiotics will find me there."

A second exclaimed, "I am going to hide behind her right ear, I don't think
they'll find me there."

The last germ said, "I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!"

Kicks

One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores."

A little pissed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.

When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy.

His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!"

Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"

The Eyes Have It

There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.

After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.

Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office. During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?"

"Thank God I'm not a gynecologist."

No.1387

7 comments:

74WIXYgrad said...

Thanks for the chuckles.

74WIXYgrad said...

And that doctor should also be glad he wasn't a proctologist!

Skunkfeathers said...

So how did Dilbert get where it got, and you didn't? The fix was in... ;)

Fred said...

Sex sells. Great jokes.

Hale McKay said...

Wixygrad,

Your welcome. Yes sir, proctologist works here too - maybe even better.

Hale McKay said...

Skunk,

Well, one thing's for sure, Herbie is drawn better.

Hale McKay said...

Fred,

Sex sells most definitely.

Thanks. I can only take credit for finding the jokes.