Stranded In the Jungle

Roughing it ... Lost ... In exile ... Stranded ...
Behind bars ... Isolated ... Cut off from civilization ...

I was without a computer for three days!
If I'd been asked last Saturday if I thought I was addicted to the computer, I would have probably answered with a resounding - NO! Even though I'm online virtually every evening, I was certain it was just to kill time and I could easily occupy my mind with something else.

Now I ask myself "What was with the withdrawal pains?"

Sunday afternoon I pressed the 'power button' on my CPU to start up the computer - nothing happened. I repeated the process several times - still nothing happened. I checked the plug for the electrical connection. I checked the modem and the router. There was no reason that I shouldn't be able to get on line, so I pressed the power button again - and again nothing happened. I disconnected and reconnected every wire and cable necessary for the operation of the computer - nothing.

Was I, am I addicted to the Internet? No - at least not while I'm on line. Unable to get on line, well that's another story!

My son-in-law, Scott, who is adept at fixing computers, took the unit home with him Monday morning. I got it back today, Wednesday evening. While my computer is now working - I was able to power it up, he didn't fix it.

You must be familiar with one of Murphy's Laws which is applicable here. You know the one: the one where you take your car to the mechanic because it is making a funny sound or isn't working right - but it doesn't do it when the mechanic checks it out... You are thusly made to look like an idiot!

He plugged it in and pressed the power button - it came on it, powered up. He repeated the process with the same result. It was working fine. He couldn't get it to not power up!

So it was that on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I was out of sorts. I found myself lost - between reading the newspaper, reading DVD jackets, reading the ingredients on the labels of canned and boxed food products and doing puzzles. I kept looking for something on which to snack. I over did it on the coffee. I found myself pacing from room to room. I sorted some loose change. I discovered a Kevin Costner retrospective on TV and watched on and off parts of "Field of Dreams", "Waterworld", "The Postman", "Dances With Wolves", "The Tin Cup", and "Dragonfly."

Monday evening I attempted to work on on line using my wife's laptop. I went nuts - I don't particularly like laptops anyway - and not being used to using one, it proved to be a perplexing struggle. Looking back on it, there was something I can laugh about while I was using her laptop. It is with reflex that I manipulate the mouse when I am using a computer.

I caught myself several times trying to move and to right and left click on an onion roll which was sitting on a dish to my right.

Being disconnected from the cyberverse, I did learn a few things. (1)-It's a jungle out here off line. (2)-I am perfectly capable of finding other outlets for amusing myself, I simply opted not to partake of them. (3)-Too much of Kevin Costner films is not conducive to sanity. (3)- A Malayan outrigger is a "proa." (4)- The labels on canned and packaged products don't have much of a plot. And ... (5)-An onion roll does not make a very good computer mouse.

Here's an investment idea for you:

Financial tips.

If you had bought $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10-cent deposit, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is my new retirement program, I call it my 401-Keg program.

Is there anything new in the headlines the last few days?


NO, I didn't think so. "SOSDD."

Due to lost computer time, the next installment of "Echoes of Eddie" will be posted next Monday, 6/9. I apologize for the delay, but I was unable to finish the chapter in time.

NO.1369