Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Blonded by the Light


A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.

It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blond of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"

"My car broke down, officer," says the woman calmly.

"Well, what the are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" he asks.

"Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde. "Those are my emergency flashers!"

Just one of the Bear Naked Ladies

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' "

"That sounds like the 'Tom Jones syndrome,'" the doctor says.

"Is that common?" the blonde asks.

"It's not unusual."


There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "In what position was the baby conceived ?"
"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"You will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
"What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?".....

Rubick's Cube for blondes. Available in six different bright colors.

A blonde calls Jet Star and asks, "Can you tell me
how long it'll take to fly from Sydney to Brisbane?"

The agent replies, "Just a moment, madam."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac and a blonde?

The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
The nymphomania says, "You're done already?"
The blonde says, "Beige ... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

She was soooooooooooooo blonde...

... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

... she thought a quarterback was a refund.

... she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order

... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center.

... she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

... she thought General Motors was in the Army.

... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

... she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".

... she tried to drown a fish.

... she tripped over a cordless phone.

... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it
said "concentrate".

... she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

... she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".

... they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius".

... she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

... it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes".

... she studied for a blood test-and failed.

... she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train".

... she sold the car for gas money.

... when she saw the movie rating "NC-17: under 17 not admitted", she went home and got 16 friends.

... when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

... she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

... when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

... when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around and went home.

... she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.



Skunkfeathers said...

Blonded by the light, bearly ;)

kenju said...

Hey, even I could do that Rubik's Cube!! and I'm not blonde!

Hale McKay said...


I understand that Britney Spears solved the new Rubicks Cube in under just three hours. I think she bought the yellow one - I wonder why?

Hale McKay said...


Some blondes are dazzling "bear" aren't they? ;-)