No Tree Hugger, This Bugger

I don't claim to be a staunch environmentalist. I'm certainly not a tree hugger! I am not a champion of the causes du jour of Green Peace. Lastly, I cannot applaud the lunatic fringe known as PETA.

There are times however, that I do feel compelled to pay close attention to the efforts to save animals that have been placed on the endangered species list. My own personal efforts to support such causes though, extend no further than committing a few typed words to this blog.

I was disheartened to learn that this beautiful creature was recently placed on the Endangered Species List. It will be sad to see them disappear from the face of our planet forever. I think that since they were once so common, these iconic symbols of idyllic life have long been taken for granted.

Won't you show your support and visit this beautiful creature? The site is sponsored and each visit earns valuable funds for the drive to save them. Please visit Endangered Species.


The Tree Hugger

A lady from New York State, who was a tree hugger and a vociferous anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract.

She wanted to get a good view of the natural splendor of her purchase so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a Bald Eagle that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest country doctor. She told him what an environmentalist and anti-hunter she was and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the U.S. Forest Service, the Bureau of Land Management, NYS Department of Environmental Conservation, and the Adirondack Park Agency before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. Im sorry, but they all turned me down."

I wonder ... do any of those tree huggers ever think of the trees' wishes. Maybe the trees don't want to be hugged.

Think about it. Those poor trees don't know where our bodies have been. For all a Sycamore knows, the hugger might have been making out with an Elm. Don't you know that Sycamores and Elms don't get along?

Lyrics: Tree Hugger - Kimya Dawson

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree"
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea

And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert
And the desert
So dry and lonely
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort

Et le jackalope a dit
"Je voudrais être un yeti
Pour voler dans la nuit
Et m'en aller loin d'ici"
Mais le yeti a dit
"Je voudrais être un monstre marin
Pour pouvoir rentrer dans la mer
De tous les requins"

And the rattlesnake said
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man"
And then the cactus said
"Don't you understand
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice
But hug my flower with your eyes"

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree"
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea

And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert
And the desert
So dry and lonely
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort

Finally, before you venture out to sea to save the Great White Sharks, why not ask the person in the kayak what they think?

No.1395