Well, Sheet on a Shingle!

SHEET HAPPENS

Well, sheet!

Either I lost my cell phone or someone stole it! Of one fact I am certain; it is in the hands of someone else.

I know this because I immediately called my cell from a another phone. A female voice answered and said, "Hello." There was a male voice in the background that said, "Hang up!" Two more calls to it were unanswered and were sent to the voice mail box.

When I realized it was missing from its belt holster, I was able to narrow down to within an hour when I had last used it. I was driving at the time having answered a call from my wife at about 6:15 pm. It was 7:15 when I realized it was missing.

Retracing my steps from the store to the parking lot and from there to my last client of the day, I knew there was a small window of time for me to try to recreate.

(1) From the truck to the client's residence; (2) From the client's house to the store; (3)From the truck into the store; (4) From the store back to my truck; (5) From the store lot back to the street outside client's house.

I realized it was missing as I was gathering her groceries to carry them inside. I did have contact with a group of four teens, two male and two female, who were standing in one of the store aisles, essentially blocking it to traffic. I had to sidle between them to get by.

I can only assume that was when it left my possession. Maybe it fell out of the swivel holster or was lifted out of the holster as I passed through their ranks. It's the best guess I could make.

After I had made the calls to the phone and heard the two voices, it became apparent that I wasn't going to get the phone back. If one of those teens was responsible, "doing the right thing," turning the phone in, was not a part of his or her code of ethics.

I thought, "Well, I'll be damned if they were going to get to take advantage of the 100 minutes on it." So I rushed off to Best Buy and bought a new phone - a different model and a better, more secure belt holster. By the time two hours had passed from the time I realized it was missing, I had activated the new phone and had transferred the telephone number and the minutes from the old phone.

The service provider then deactivated the previous phone and flagged its serial number as "stolen." I have the satisfaction of knowing that they never used any of the 100 minutes, and they will be unable to activate the phone because of the flagged serial number.

I hope they enjoy their useless new toy.

I will have to sit down and familiarize myself with the new phone and program all my numbers and ringtones into it. That will take some time.

As such, I'm throwing in a cartoon and a joke and calling this today's post!

STUD FEES

An Appalachian farmer got in his pickup truck and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy, about nine, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home"? the farmer asked.

"Sorry, he isn't" the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well," said the farmer, "Is your mother here"?

"No, sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Greg? Is he here"?

"He went with Mum and Dad too."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for ya"? the boy asked politely. "I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one. Or maybe, I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Greg getting my daughter pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment.

"You would have to talk to Dad about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Dad charges $200 for the bull and $150 for the pig, but I really don't know how much he gets for Greg."

No.1495