Subscriptions: Physical Spam?

I decided to sit down and catch up on reading some of the magazines to which I subscribe.

This is the final issue of the comic book, Power Team. The gripping tale within its pages was right out of the current headlines. Larry Flynt meets with Dubya and presents the lame duck President with autographed copies of his social graces magazine, Hustler. The publishing mogul was in Washington seeking a financial bailout for his industry.*

*(For details on this topic see Rocking the "Love" Boat.)

However, the talks broke down over the semantics contained in one of the clauses of the bill. While Dubya's interpretation of the word "insertion" had to do with troops deployed into the Middle East, Flynt was adamant that it should refer to a more intimate form of deployment.

Moron Magazine
The February issue of Moron featured their annual pick of "The Moron of the Year."

It came as no surprise that George W. Bush has walked away with the honor for the eighth straight year, breaking a tie and eclipsing the record of seven held by Rosie O'Donnell.

This years runners up, though not listed in any particular order, include O.J. Simpson, Chicago governor Blagoyevich, and the adoption-happy couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Perhaps because of her recent nomination as Sectretary of State, Hillary Clinton did not make this years poll.

Fantastic Friends
Sadly, Supe's adventures have been toned down in recent years due to the increasing pressure of self-serving groups preaching political correctness. Thus the Man of Steel has been reduced to becoming a champion of the Green movement to save the earth.

In this month's issue, the lead story "Super Scooper," finds our hero succumbing to pressure from his neighbors because of Krypto's propensity for depositing his super-poop all over the town. Also, his master has been asked to train Super-dog to be more careful where and when he lifts his leg.

Coming next month: Our hero has been ordered to provide a sample of Krypto's DNA because of the increase in the number of unadopted puppies in the streets of Metropolis.

Heroes
Issue № 125 of "Heroes" should ease the fears of the American people concerning President-elect Barack Obama's utter lack of experience, especially when it comes to foreign policy.

In an usual show of bi-partisanship courtesy, the out-going President, George W. Bush has sold for an undisclosed amount his complete collection of "For Dummies" books to Obama.

The out-going Commander-in-Chief told his replacement that he had dog-eared those pages which contain invaluable facts about dealing with the country's enemies. He told Obama to pay close attention to those chapters dealing with locating WMDs.

№ 1576