Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Euphonious Nomenclature

Politically Correctness- a socially communicated disease espoused by socially inept individuals which is characterized by the deprivation of the rights of others.
(Ironically, the phrase "politically correct" in and of itself is politically incorrect and therefore an oxymoron, as there is nothing correct in politics.)
As it has been left unchecked, the practice of politically correctness has run so amok that it has become necessary to consider that our dictionaries should be rewritten. Fortunately it has not yet come to that, as some PC persons have released their own dictionary:
The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook
I have chosen not to mention the publisher or name the collaborating authors as it might spawn interest in the publication and therefore inadvertently generate increased sales of it.

I did bend to PC pressure with the naming of this post, but only to draw attention to the absurdity of the subject matter.
Euphonious - nice, pleasant sounding.
Nomenclature - the act of assigning names; the name assigned to.
I'll attempt to illustrate the comparison/differences between normal word usage (henceforth referred to as "correct") and politically correct word usage.
Let's say that you have just been introduced to a friend's little girl: "This is my daughter, Linda."

Your response:
Correct: "What a nice name."
Politically Correct: "That's a euphonious nomenclature."
Ah, the yard sale, that traditional social rite of spring. It's the weekend practice where bargain hunters find and purchase desired objects at deep discounted prices, well below those of retail stores.

It's an amicable trade off as the seller gets rid of unwanted stuff in order to make room for new stuff, the cost of which is defrayed by the sale of the former.

In this age of politically correctness, can you imagine while driving around looking for yard sales you come across this sign on a tree or a telephone pole:
Migratory Relocation of Possessions
Where, oh where will it end? Years ago there was talk of the United States converting to the Metric System to bring it line with the rest of the world. If I thought I was afraid then of the prospect of that change, I'm now living in dread of the "raping and pillaging" of our language and its words usage.

I was perplexed to learn that paper bags and newspapers are now
"Processed Tree Carcasses."

"Stolen Nonhuman Animal Products" is what I'm supposed to call eggs and dairy products now.

If I were to buy a whole chicken or turkey, I would have to ask the butcher for
a "Voiceless Victim of Speciesism."

If I wanted to apologize for the spat I had with my significant other, I wouldn't buy flowers, but a bunch of "Botanical Companions."

Need some cologne or perfume? You won't find it unless you look for
"Discretionary Fragrances."
To differentiate, "Nondiscretionary Fragrances" would refer to body odor, bad breath, and breaking wind.
Do you know anyone having a baby? Well she's not pregnant, she's "Parisitically Oppressed."

"Commodity Allotments Within a Business Doctrine" is a term for prostitutes.

I guess that "Consensual Nonmonogamy" sounds better than wife swapping.

When a criminal is locked up away from the general populace of a prison, it's no longer solitary confinement, but "Therapeutic Segregation."

I might be guilty of "Street Harassment," but I see no harm in girl watching.

This one I like! It might be "Bureaucratically Suitable,"but it's still BS that politicians sling when they speak.



Skunkfeathers said...

LOL...crap ;) Political Correctians can pound sandpaper up their sat-on thought processors ;)

Sandee said...

Miss California got a taste of political correctness didn't she. She held to her beliefs though. It's her belief. Why can't people just let her be? We have to agree with absolutely everything? NOT! We've gone way overboard.

Have a terrific day. :)