Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Movie Titles: A Story

(I found a version of this while surfing a while back. It wasn't written very well and was filled with a lot of incomplete sentences. I liked the concept and stored it as a draft until some future date. Today is that future date, so I rewrote and edited it and added some more movie titles. I thought it came out pretty good. I hope you enjoy it.)

This is The Never Ending Story of a Working Girl who worked 9 To 5, and The American President. The latter of whom offered the former an Indecent Proposal. It seems this Top Gun was Addicted To Love, especially to Young Blood and Little Women. He had a Basic Instinct, a Fatal Attraction, for this Pretty Woman, this Babe. He liked to Kiss The Girls, sometimes slipping in the Rear Window. It was rumored that he sometimes liked Boys On The Side.... but that's Oliver's Story.

What of her? Was it just Casual Sex? No, she saw Career Opportunities. She was Looking For Mr. Goodbar. To her it was The Sure Thing. She had Great Expectations of getting him alone in the Oval Office which to him was a White Castle.

It was to be a Close Encounter Of The Third Kind and not a Mission Impossible. We're talking Risky Business and Dangerous Ground. Until now she'd played The Saint, but this would be Unforgiven, for she was going to break a few of The Ten Commandments.

It Happened One Night when they partook of An Affair To Remember. The Bodyguard, wearing The Mask of deception, would be the means of the Deliverance. It was in the Head Office that they played From Dusk Till Dawn. Calling it Patriot Games he said they'd do it on top of the flag.

She started with a Striptease, then Goin' South for The Fly. His pants Falling Down to his Sneakers, revealing The Pelican Briefs. There was no doubt that it looked like there would be some hanky panky and some Foul Play. She would Free Willy Two, and be surprised by The Thing. Being Up Close And Personal, she put her parted Jaws upon him. She'd never Eight Men Out before, but he didn't care, he was Blown Away.

Trading Places, he slipped his Goldfinger into her Paradise Alley. He could smell her Heat and taste her Primal Fear. Her Field Of Dreams began to Grease. Their Private Parts made Contact. It became Fast and Furious when he thrust his Shaft into The Abyss. She felt a Sudden Impact, and her Crimson Tide broke from the assault of his Great Balls Of Fire!

He expected her to be an Easy Rider, but she was a Twister and Rocky Two. She squirmed Every Which Way But Loose. He drove his Willy Wonka with Speed into The Deep. Their motions were Chitty, Chitty, Bang! Bang! He released Hot Shots of his White Squall into her Dark Passage. She felt The Wiz, then The Big Chill. She was Speechless, and Waiting To Exhale she let out a Scream. While he thought it was The Monster Ball, it was over in 8 Seconds. She thought, he wasn't much of a Superman. Then came The Long Kiss Good Night.

The Morning After, she was Dazed And Confused, and she told her Circle Of Friends what had occurred. She said she was told if there was ever a Q & A by Internal Affairs she would have to protect the President with Secrets & Lies and to deny ever Being There. All The Presidents' Men declared her to be a Liar, Liar. Unbeknown, one of these confidants was Wired. It was inevitable, there was going to be some Disclosure.

Time would pass; first there was 48 Hrs, and then Another 48 Hrs. Soon 9 1/2 Weeks would pass, followed by Another 9 1/2 Weeks. Then seeking Fame and Big Fortune, this confidant would hold The American President for Ransom. He wasn't Above Suspicion, he was Fair Game. She thought, " I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!". She told the press, "I Know What You Did Last Summer."

She Set It Off....a Chain Reaction which could Breakdown the Absolute Power of the President, Against All Odds. He'd be Better Off Dead and Fallen. Across the country Grumpy Old Men and Ordinary People will shout about a Conspiracy Theory. Some would flash The Birds. His Misery would cause Dead Presidents to rollover in their graves. When the tapes are aired, he was on The Boat sailing Out of Africa and is Coming To America.

However Suspect, the President was a Diehard. He addressed the people and stated, " This is Much Ado About Nothing. I need you to Stand By Me. Right wing advocates will Say Anything, and should Never Cry Wolf." The First Lady And The Tramp also showed Courage Under Fire. Admittedly Clueless, and without a Witness For The Prosecution, the Dragnet came to a halt. The American President was no longer Under Siege, and The Shadow over the Capitol was soon forgotten.

We wonder what has become of her. She never asked for Help! Someone said she was seeing The Mechanic. Sadly, her story is now being called The Crying Game. We're sure she's out there somewhere ... somewhere Where The Boys Are.



Sandee said...

Now that was downright clever as heck.

Have a great day. :)

Hale McKay said...


Why, thank you. I can't take credit for the idea - but I did edit, rewrite it and added some titles.