Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy 4th of July

The Heart of the Matter

Mrs Whyte, his teacher advises the class that each school day starts with the *"Pledge of Allegiance" and instructs them to put their right hand over their heart and repeat after her.

As Mrs Whyte starts the recitation she looks around the room, 'I pledge allegiance to the flag........', when her eyes are drawn to Andy who has his hand over the right cheek of his bottom.

Andy, I cannot continue till you put your hand over your heart,' she demands.

Andy looks up and replies, 'It is over my heart.'

After several more attempts to get Andy to put his hand over his heart, Mrs Whyte enquires, 'Why do you think that is your heart, Andy?'

'Well Miss,' answers Andy, 'because every time my Grandma comes to visit she pats me there and says, "Bless your little heart," and my Grandma never lies.'

One, Two, Free

The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. 'We live in a great country,' she announced. 'One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.'

Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, 'I'm not free. I'm four.'

If your protest group is going to burn an American flag,
Might I suggest that you don't let the villiage idiot light it ?

How Many States Can You Name?

Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said, 'Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.

There Are Better Ways To Surprise Your Wife

One of Many Legacies of George W.'s Preidency

An American soldier is dying in a battlefield hospital in Afganistan.

Soldier : How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die.

Nurse (Extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism) : I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if you don't mind.

Soldier : Of course I wouldn't mind. Thank you for fulfilling my last wish.

The nurse took off her panties and the dying soldier kissed the flag.

Soldier : Thank you, nurse. Would you be so kind as to turn around so that I could kiss Bush too?

A Happy 4th of July to every one who stops by!



Mike Golch said...

A happy 4th to you and your family as well.

Ailurophile said...

Ha ha!! Loved all the jokes. Hope you had a very happy Independence Day :)

Skunkfeathers said...

Hope it was a good Fourth in your neck of the woods ;)

Hale McKay said...


Right back atcha and your family.

Hale McKay said...


Glad you liked the jokes and I hope you had a great 4th.

Hale McKay said...


And I trust you had a good mile-high 4th of July.