Tuesday, September 15, 2009

7 Kinds of Sex, Etc.

7 Kinds of Sex

(1) Smurf Sex

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

(2) Kitchen Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

(3) Bedroom Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

(4) Hallway Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

(5) Religious Sex

Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Most Popular)

(6) Courtroom Sex

This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

(7) Social Security Sex

You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.

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On some women, stretch pants have no choice.


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A teacher was trying to broach the subject of sex with her grade-school students and asked them if they had ever seen anything related to it.

A girl raised her hand and said she'd seen a movie about a woman having a baby.

"That's a good example," said the teacher.

Then another raised her hand and told the teacher she'd watched a TV show about people getting married.

"Well, yes, that has to do with sex too," she said to the class.

Then little Johnny raised his hand and said he'd once seen a western movie in which savage Indians come riding over a hill, and John Wayne shoots half of them.

"The teacher said to him, "Well, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education."

"Yes it does," the boy replied. "It taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne!"

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The cure for love at first sight is often to take a sober look.


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A woman who was in labor started screaming profanities at her husband.

"Hey, don't blame me," he shouted back. "I wanted to put in your ass, and you said that would hurt."

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1794

4 comments:

Sandee said...

I've seen a lot of the courtroom sex. Bwahahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

Hale McKay said...

Sandee,

It seems that I see a lot of the "Hallway" variety.

WackyMummy said...

Smurf sex... ROTFLMAO

Hale McKay said...

WackyMummy,

LOL - It's Smurfelicious.