Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sexual Preferences





The openness of sex in today's world has become a heated debate for many. Where once the practice of sex and discussion of it were kept behind closed doors, it has now become an open forum. You don't have to go far to hear about sex. Whether it is in the news, in TV programs, movies, or music, sex often has center stage.

We are all familiar with the terms heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual. Those three have been the standards by which we have long classified sex. However, over the years there has been a growing list of persuasions which won't fit into those categories. Perceived as fetishes and perversions by many, they are going to be popping up in the mainstream soon enough.

With the following lists of sexual persuasions, perhaps you can find some resolution to the Sexual Revolution.

Normal Preferences

  • Autosexual - prefers sex in back seat of cars
  • Hyposexual - prefers to be on the bottom
  • Monosexual - prefers sex with one partner, monogamous
  • Retrosexual - prefers rear entry (doggy style)
  • Solosexual - prefers sex alone, no partner
  • Supersexual - prefers to be on top

Kinky (Out of the Ordinary)

  • Aerosexual - is a member of the Mile-High Club
  • Alphasexual - has sex with first person they meet
  • Aquasexual - prefers sex in bathtubs or pools
  • Carpesexual - siezes the moment to have sex
  • Combosexual - has sex with one male and one female (threesome)
  • Countersexual - prefers sex on kitchen counters, tabletops
  • Ectosexual - prefers sex outdoors
  • Heliosexual - likes sex in tanning booths
  • Omegasexual - has sex with the last person they meet
  • Omnisexual - will have sex anywhere, everywhere
  • Patiosexual - has sex on porches, verandas on lawn furniture
  • Pseudosexual - both partners have sex with clothes on (dry sex)
  • Stereosexual - has sex wearing headphones listening to heavy metal
  • Trisexual - has sex with two partners of opposite gender
  • Trysexual - will try anything

Abnormal Preferences

  • Antisexual - does not like sex
  • Buysexual - pays for sex
  • Cybersexual - has computer sex, usually via cams
  • Enigmasexual - never knows names of partners
  • Hypersexual - has overactive sex life
  • Jumbosexual - prefers sex with overweight partners
  • Moolahsexual - performs sex for money
  • Multisexual - has many partners
  • Rotosexual - prefers sex with plumbers, gets excited seeing butt cracks
  • Triskadekasexual - prefers sex thirteen times a week
  • Whosexual - has sex then asks for name of partner
  • Videosexual - records self having sex

Weird Preferences

  • Arachnisexual - has sex wearing Spiderman suit
  • Archeosexual - likes sex at ruin sites
  • Astrosexual - prefers sex on astro-turf
  • Biosexual - uses anatomy pictures as foreplay
  • Carnisexual - prefers sex with carnival workers
  • Histrisexual - has partner dress up as historical figures
  • Lottosexual - draws name from a hat and has sex with winner
  • Paleosexual - likes sex dressed as Barney
  • Pogosexual - partners bounce on pogo sticks nude - foreplay
  • Pyrosexual - prefers sex in front of fireplace, campfire
  • Radiosexual - likes sex near nuclear power plants
  • Rectosexual - has sex only on the right side of bed
  • Twistasexual - plays Twister in the nude as foreplay

Sick/Demented Preferences

  • Agrisexual - has sex using vegetables and fruits
  • Bonzosexual - gets sexually aroused watching Ronald Reagan films
  • Bozosexual - prefers sex partners to wear clown suits
  • Carnosexual - has sex while eating raw meat
  • Electrosexual - likes sex with live electrodes attached to various body parts
  • Equusexual - likes saddles on back while partner rides using a crop
  • Harisexual - likes sex with Hari Krishnas in airports
  • Hari-Karisexual - has sex with Hari Krishna then evicerates self
  • Harposexual - prefers sex with mutes, will settle for mimes
  • Idiosexual - prefers sex with idiots
  • Jackosexual - likes sex with little boys, a pedophile
  • Judosexual - uses martial arts during sex, seldom has repeat partner
  • Pachysexual - wears elephant underwear and likes to swing his trunk
  • Psychosexual - craves sex with crazy people, dream date would be Norman Bates
  • Quasisexual - prefers sex with humpbacks

There are many more strange sexual preferences out there, but I have only just scratched the surface. I have given you a good starter list to prepare you for the day these become commonplace.

What ever happened to whipped cream?

If you should decide to dabble in any of the above, other than those considered normal, I don't really want to know. My advice is that you keep it behind closed doors. (Of course, if you wish to provide video - well, that's another story.)

1795

13 comments:

Jack K. said...

Hmmm!

Linguisexual - Using only the tongue during sex.

Languisexual - Only talking about sex.

Quasisexual - Having half-hearted sex. (There's a pun there somewhere.)

Punisexual - Either going to war over sex or using sex as a punishment.

Skunkfeathers said...

Going to war over sex...hmmmm... ;-)

crustasexual: violates crustaceans at Red Lobster

I am NOT going to put this list in my "bucket".

Sandee said...

Just way more that I needed to know. Bwhahahahahahaha. Then Jack ads to it. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

WackyMummy said...

Is there one for forgetting how to have sex? That's me. ;-)

g-man said...

I hope you don't mind if I 'borrow' a few of these.
Plagiarsexual...Takes sex without asking!

Hale McKay said...

Jack,

Good additions to the list.

Hale McKay said...

Skunk,

LOL @ Crustasexual.

Hale McKay said...

Sandee,

I guess you'd call specializtion gone wild.

Hale McKay said...

WackyMummy,

That would be amensia-sexual.

Hale McKay said...

G-man,

Borrow away. LOL @ Plagiarsexual.

Hale McKay said...

Hmmm,

I thought of some more:

Renosexual - Having sex with partners who look like Janet Reno

Yugosexual - Having sex in the back seat of a small imported car, such as a Yugo.

PETAsexual - Having sex with animals rescued from abuse.

Jack K. said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Anonymous said...

What do u call a sexual preference by a male that derives his sexual pleasure when his female sexual partner pee on him while he licks her anal?