Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Baby Boomer Bummers

One Foot on a Banana Peel ...

Over the Hill ...

Out to Pasture ...

Old enough to know better, but too old to do it better ...

Have you heard these phrases and realized they were being used in reference to you?

What's that, you say? They aren't talking about you? They must be talking about somebody else.


Then why not scroll down the following list to see if you just might be a victim of the Baby Boomer Bummers:

- It takes you an hour to undress ... and another to remember why.

- You think "libido" is an Italian pasta.

- When people ask you what your favorite food is, you tell them "soft."

- You keep repeating yourself.

- You sit down to breakfast and hear "Snap, Crackle and Pop," and you haven't poured milk on your cereal yet!

- Your Pharmacist calls you by your first name.

- You join a "mall-walking" league.

- Your underwear starts creeping up on you ... and you enjoy it!

- You find music videos too suggestive ... But you can't remember exactly what they are suggestive of.

- You start wondering why they started printing everything in smaller type.

- The clothes you've been saving 'till they come back in style' have come back in style.

- It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.

- You keep repeating yourself.

- You start beating everyone else at Trivia games.

- You think of a "quickie" as napping at a traffic light.

- Conversations with people your age often turn into "Dueling Ailments."

- During sex you fantasize you're with someone else.

- During sex you fantasize you're someone else.

- You wake up with that awful "morning after" feeling ... and you didn't do anything the night before.

- You notice that joggers are passing you ... while you're driving.

- You keep repeating yourself.

- Your favorite song is playing in the elevator.

- You begin to think that a few more handfuls of cologne or perfume "couldn't hurt."

- Your new easy chair has more power options than your car.

- What's "good" for you either gives you diarrhea or constipation.

- When among friends at a party, regularity is considered an acceptable topic of discussion.

- Your childhood toys are selling on e-Bay for more money than you have in your savings account.

- You light the candles on your birthday cake and everyone starts singing "Kumbaya."

- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

- You get a telephone call at 9 p.m. and they ask, "Did I wake you?"

- Your car battery goes dead because your turn signal was on for two weeks straight.

- You send money to PBS.

- You start believing that you really did walk five miles to school in the snow.

- You are obsessed with the thermostat.

- When you talk about "good grass" you're referring to the neighbor's lawn.

- You keep repeating yourself.

- Your arms are too short to read the newspaper.

- The only reason you're ever up past midnight is because of indigestion.

- You find Blog posts like this one tasteless and insensitive!



Sandee said...

I'm 58 today and many of these apply. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

Hale McKay said...


A very happy birthday to you.

Mike Golch said...

Hale Great posting. Sandee,Happy Birthday to you from me as well.

Hale McKay said...


Thank you.

I see you didn't confess to any of these...