Tuesday, June 01, 2010

A Little Bit of This and That

What Were YOU Doing?

Ever wonder what happened to all those
cute Hippie girls of the 60s?

Here's One:

Here is a riddle for the true intellectual

Try to think this one through and
Try to come up with the answer on your own.

The answer is at the end for those who
are unable to think this one through.

Here's the riddle:

At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth.

One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor.

The other is receiving oral sex from an 85-year-old woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing.

What are they both thinking?

"Don't Look Down!"


Sex Or Skiing?!

A preacher became frustrated that a large part of his congregation was going water skiing on Sunday rather than coming to church, so he told his wife, "This coming Sunday, I'm going to preach about the evils of water skiing on Sunday."

"What?" she exclaimed. "That's a silly thing to preach about."

"I don't think so," he said. "It's a problem we need to address."

The next Sunday as they were driving to church, the wife asked her preacher husband somewhat warily about the day's sermon topic.

As I told you," he said, "I'm going to preach about the evils of water skiing on Sundays."

"That's idiotic!" the wife retorted. "First of all, it's a dumb topic for a sermon, and second, the people who need to hear it most won't be in church. Why don't you preach about sex or something most people are interested in?"

"No. The Lord wants me to preach about the evils of water skiing on Sundays, and that's what I'm preaching about," he said firmly.

His wife said, "Well, I'm not going to sit through a boring sermon like that. I'm staying in the car. You can tell the congregation I'm sick or something." And she stayed in the car.

As the preacher walked from the car to his study at the church, he got to thinking that perhaps his wife had a valid point, so he changed his mind and gave a brilliant extemporaneous sermon on the proper role of sex in modern society.

When the service was over, one of the parishioners stopped by the preacher's car and remarked to the pastor's wife, "I'm sorry you're not feeling well this morning. "Your husband gave the finest sermon today that he's ever given since coming to this parish."

"Hmmmpf. I don't know why he thinks he's such an expert on the subject," his wife snapped. "He's only tried it twice, and he fell off both times."

Grammar Quiz

How fast can you guess the words?

1. B o o _ s

2. _ _ n d o m

3. F _ _ k

4. P _ n _ s

5. P u _ s _

Answers Below, Don't cheat


1. Books

2. Random

3. Fork

4. Pants

5. Pulse

You got all 5 wrong DIDN'T YOU!




Sandee said...

Bwahahaha, I got them all wrong too. Go figure.

I stole the sermon one. Thanks.

Have a terrific day. :)

Mike Golch said...

Great ones,and as Sandee did I got them all wrong as well.I guess that happens when you let your mind wander around in the gutter.

Hale McKay said...


The sermon joke is definitely one to "steal."

I, too, got the words wrong.

Hale McKay said...


I guess all three of our minds were in the gutter.