|Thirsty the Turtle|
PROFESSIONAL IMBIBERS of SELECT SPIRITS
P.I.S.S. is a social drinking club. Its proud members are known as Pissers and they cheerfully answer to that sobriquet. Pissers love to party.
The International Sea Turtles
P.I.S.S. is an off-shoot of another social drinking club, The International Sea Turtles, which was started by party-hearty sailors a long time ago. Whether originally formed by civilian or Naval sailors it is not certain, but the tradition is alive and well.
Since not everyone is a sailor and since not everyone has been on a boat or a ship, P.I.S.S. was chartered to welcome every landlubber out there to become a part of its elite membership. Everyone has a right to be called a Pisser.
Would like to become a Pisser? This is your chance. All you have to do to be accepted as a member of this exclusive club is to correctly answer the four questions which will appear below.
Before reading and attempting to answer those questions, there is the matter of the Pisser's Creed.
Traditionally the Creed is recited as an oath upon being sworn in as a member of P.I.S.S. This is accomplished with the inductee raising a held drink in his or her right hand.I, ______(name)______, whether sober or not, do solemnly swear to acknowledge that I am a Pisser. When asked "Are you a Pisser?" by a fellow Pisser I will reply, without hesitation, no matter where I am, or in whose company I might be, "You bet your sweet ass I am!" I understand that failure to answer as such, I will be subject to forfeiture on one alcoholic beverage of that Pisser's choice.
That is only by-law of this social club. If you are ready to accept the terms of the Pisser's Creed, you are now free to answer the following important questions.
What is a four-letter word ending in the letter 'k' that means intercourse?
What is it that is hard and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?
What is it that a man does standing, a woman sitting and a dog on three legs?
What is it on a man that when excited expands 10 times in size?
How did you do? Did you answer them all, correctly? Let's check them:
You missed one? You missed more than one? You missed them all? Then you are truly a Pisser! Go back to the questions and try again.
I - talk; II - his head; III - shake hands; IV - pupils of his eyes
Congratulations! You are now an official member of P.I.S.S. - a real Pisser!