Thursday, August 05, 2010

P.I.S.S.

 Thirsty the Turtle

PROFESSIONAL IMBIBERS of SELECT SPIRITS

P.I.S.S. is a social drinking club. Its proud members are known as Pissers and they cheerfully answer to that sobriquet. Pissers love to party.

The International Sea Turtles

P.I.S.S. is an off-shoot of another social drinking club, The International Sea Turtles, which was started by party-hearty sailors a long time ago. Whether originally formed by civilian or Naval sailors it is not certain, but the tradition is alive and well.

Since not everyone is a sailor and since not everyone has been on a boat or a ship, P.I.S.S. was chartered to welcome every landlubber out there to become a part of its elite membership. Everyone has a right to be called a Pisser.

Would like to become a Pisser? This is your chance. All you have to do to be accepted as a member of this exclusive club is to correctly answer the four questions which will appear below.

Before reading and attempting to answer those questions, there is the matter of the Pisser's Creed.

The Pisser's Creed
I, ______(name)______, whether sober or not, do solemnly swear to acknowledge that I am a Pisser. When asked "Are you a Pisser?" by a fellow Pisser I will reply, without hesitation, no matter where I am, or in whose company I might be, "You bet your sweet ass I am!" I understand that failure to answer as such, I will be subject to forfeiture on one alcoholic beverage of that Pisser's choice.
Traditionally the Creed is recited as an oath upon being sworn in as a member of P.I.S.S. This is accomplished with the inductee raising a held drink in his or her right hand.

That is only by-law of this social club. If you are ready to accept the terms of the Pisser's Creed, you are now free to answer the following important questions.

Question I
What is a four-letter word ending in the letter 'k' that means intercourse?
Question II
What is it that is hard and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?
Question III
What is it that a man does standing, a woman sitting and a dog on three legs?
Question IV
What is it on a man that when excited expands 10 times in size?

How did you do? Did you answer them all, correctly? Let's check them:

Pisser Answers
I - talk; II - his head; III - shake hands; IV - pupils of his eyes
You missed one? You missed more than one? You missed them all? Then you are truly a Pisser! Go back to the questions and try again.

Congratulations! You are now an official member of P.I.S.S. - a real Pisser!

2019

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I missed three-got the last one right...WooHoo...need to drink some more, then try, maybe I'll do better-LMAO-You bet your sweet Ass I am!-Cat

Blue said...

Ah! A club even I couldn't get thrown out of!

Hale McKay said...

Cathy,

LOL - got the last one right? That was actually the hardest one.

Then again you are joking - aren't you?

Anyway, welcome to the club, you pisser, you.

Hale McKay said...

Blue,

Why am i not surprised that in addition to Cathy, you'd also be inducted into the club?