Friday, August 06, 2010

You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too

Real Country Music Song Titles:

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump

Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?

Did I Shave my Legs for This?

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)

Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer)

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.

Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine

Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.

How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me?

How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?

I Don't Know What Came Over Me (When I Came All Over You)

I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger

I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2.

I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine.

I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal.

I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You.

I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart

I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me

I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me

I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town.

I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win.

I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If I Had It To Do All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You

If I Had My Life to Live Over, I'd Live Over a Delicatessen

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love.

If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me

If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure.

If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will

If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put it Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart

I'm Gonna Put a Bar in the Back of my Car and Drive Myself to Drink

I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life.

I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart.

Lay Something On My Bed Besides A Blanket

Make Me Late For Work Today.

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

No Way, Conway (I Ain't Gonna Twitty Tonight)

Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer

Refried Dreams

Saddle Up the Stove Ma, I'm Riding the Range Tonight

She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft.

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.

She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night It Was Honor and Offer

She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without.

Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You

The Pint Of No Return.

There Ain't Enough Room in my Fruit Of The Looms to Hold All My Lovin' For You

We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now

What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out Of Me).

When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Road Map, I Knew You Meant Good-Bye

Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw

Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog's Leavins'

You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too.

You Done Stomped On my Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat)

You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off

№ 2020

1 comment:

Hale McKay said...

I've seen similar lists of these.

This is only about one-fifth of the list from which these were culled.

I remember some of these, but there are many I'd never seen before.

I don't know if ALL of them are really country song titles, but they are funny nonetheless.