Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Shrimp On The Barbie 3

(This is part 3 of a satire beginning HERE.)

A Sci-Fi Suspense Comedy Mystery Farce Story

This is part 3 of the story of the invasion of the small New England fishing town of Barbie.

Sheriff Harry Fuzz had found himself surrounded in a closing circle of the strange shrimp-like creatures. Along with his intrepid deputy, Buster Cherry, they had tracked down the suspects of a series of recent crimes.
....The smallest of the Shrimp people was aiming an electronic device at him. Imagining it to be a disintegrating ray, Harry had been struggling not to shit his pants. One of Barbie's finest suffering that indignation was enough, he thought.
.....There was a series of beeps and blips followed by a high-pitched whir emanating from the weapon. He almost lost control of his sphincters! He knew he was about to buy the farm.
....Suddenly there was a break in their ranks as some of them stepped aside to allow two more of them to pass through. Harry stared dumbfounded. Buster was with them, but not as a prisoner. He appeared to be chummy with them, laughing and talking to them.
...."Sheriff Fuzz, they are not monsters after all. They are really quite pleasant people," Buster said with a grin. He turned to the one at his left who appeared to be a female. The creatures had no discernable external sexual organs, and as such he couldn't be certain. Harry Fuzz' eyes widened as Buster began to babble with some unintelligible sounds. Could it be their language?

"Hubie ubis thubie bubioss," Buster said to her. She smiled and nodded her head. He turned back to Harry and said, "It's okay, boss. I just told her that you are the boss."

He was not used to playing second fiddle to Buster. "How in the hell do you know how to speak that gibberish of a language?" It didn't make sense. Buster Cherry had enough trouble with English, let alone a foreign language. Harry had tried to teach him "pig latin" once, but the deputy just couldn't grasp it.

"It's kind of funny, Harry. It's not really their language. It is an earth language," Buster replied. He saw the look on Harry's face and knew he would have to explain. "You see, Harry, these people are from another planet. They learned that language from listening to our radio and television signals that have been spreading through outer space for a long time. They heard other languages too, but they decided that this one was the one most likely that intelligent beings would use."

"Wait a minute!" Harry shouted. The beings suddenly shifted into a defensive posture. Harry paused. "Okay, okay. What are they getting in a huff about, Buster?"

"You're not gonna believe this, Harry. They don't trust you because they are offended by your smell."

"What?" Harry shouted again. "Are you going to stand there with your pants full of shit, and tell me they think I stink!"

"I'm afraid so, Harry. They told me that I smell like the air on their world. I remind them of home. Then when they found that I could communicate with them, they were happy they had found a friend," Buster said almost to proudly to suit Harry.

"All right. Assuming all that to be true, just what is this language they thought was spoken here? I have never heard it as far as I know," Harry said. "And how is that you of all people understand it?"

"Why it's Ubbi Dubbi, of course! They just happened to pick up the signals from a PBS program for kids called ZOOM." Buster grinned before continuing. "I was a kid once, Harry. ZOOM was one of my favorite shows."

Still confused, Harry decided he would deal with the details later. He was still faced with a town invaded by giant shrimp from outer space. It sounded like one of those old Saturday matinee b-movies he used to watch as a kid. Since he was responsible for maintaining the law in this town, it was time for him to take the bull by the horns and try to gain control of the situation.

"Buster, try to find out what are Shrimp People want. Why are they here?"

The deputy cleared his throat before answering, "They are here to take over the planet!"

To be continued.... HERE.


1 comment:

aka_monty said...

I'm so into this story...it's almost embarrassing. ;)